LET ME LOVE YOU

Galentine’s Day is tomorrow, which is by far my favorite made up holiday*, because not only was it brought to fame by the glorious Amy Poehler on Parks and Rec, but in general it is just a day to celebrate the glory that is a platonic, loving friendship between females. It’s the ultimate chicks before dicks day.



To celebrate I wanted to share possibly the most quintessential examples of pure female friendship awesomeness.

Yesterday I texted a friend who we’ll call “Lane” with some exciting news that I shouldn’t really share here (but I did share it on my Patreon, so if you’re an Awkward Ambassador, you already know.)

Me: *shares exciting news*

Lane: Ahhhhhhhh. Yes yes yes yes. *quotes and confirms great news* And yes you are amazing.

Me: Can you just follow me around and say things like this all the time?

Lane: I am so happy for you and yes I WOULD GLADLY BE YOUR LIFE HYPE WOMAN.

Me: YES.

Lane: You’re killing itttttttt. You have no idea how happy I am right now. I’m like beaming. My friend has given me a few weird looks.

Me: YOU’RE MY HYPE WOMAN, JUST SEND THEM TO A LINK TO MY BLOG AND MAKE THEM LOVE ME.

Lane: I WILLLLLL

I realize that to some of you this might seem like a ridiculous conversation, because it’s just full of caps-lock screams, but to many of us, this is what true love and excitement looks like. I feel like everyone needs a Lane in their lives - or better yet, we all should be a Lane in each other’s lives!

So… what has been happening in your life that you’re excited about? It’s Galentine’s Day (or week? whatever) and I want to celebrate you, my friends (even if you’re not a lady), so leave a comment down below and share your fun news and let me squeel with excitement for you publicly! You know what? I’ll even post about them on my instagram story. BECAUSE FOR THE NEXT 24+ HOURS I AM YOUR LANE!**


*This is a strange term to me because aren’t all holidays made up holidays? Like… none of them are just natural holidays, but we act like some of them are more real than others. THEY’RE ALL JUST DAYS THAT WE CHOOSE TO MAKE SPECIAL DAYS, PEOPLE.

**Unless the thing that you’re excited about is like… that you murdered someone who something. I probably won’t be excited about your murder. Or your murdering? Because “your murder” would be if someone murdered you… which also wouldn’t be great. You know what? Let’s just avoid murder all together.


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Making Butter - Adventures in Homesteading

If you’ve been following this blog you know that The Mr and I are starting to dive into homesteading. (If you have no idea what I’m talking about, go read this blog post) So far, it’s been going slowly, but well, which makes sense because it’s only February 4th, so there’s not a lot of farming that can be done in the dead of winter.

Since that’s the case, we’ve turned our homesteading efforts in a different direction: making stuff.

Like most beginning homesteaders, we started with a simple sourdough bread recipe. Or… The Mr did. I came home and was like “WHOA BREAD!” and then proceeded to unhinge my jaw like a snake and swallow the loaf whole.

“You know what this needs?” I said with a mouthful of doughy goodness. “BUTTER.”

“Oh, I’m way ahead of you,” The Mr said heading for the fridge. He rummaged around for a brief moment before popping up from behind the door holding a small glass bottle of heavy cream just as I shoved another piece of bread in my mouth.

“YEAH!!!” I jumped up and down with a level of excitement that is reserved for mild Taylor Swift fans during a brand new music video.

But I think it was totally justified, my friends, because here is the awesome thing: My brother and his wife gave us a butter churner for Christmas. Sadly, it’s not one of those giant wooden ones that you see in Williamsburg, VA, but it’s the next best thing because it’s an adorable glass mason jar with a churning mechanism screwed on top of it and it’s made and sold in Amish country, so YOU KNOW THAT THING WORKS LIKE A DREAM.

And you know what? WE MADE BUTTER.

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It was actually stupid easy. We just put the heavy cream in the jar and started cranking. Then came the coolest/most disgusting part….

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So at this point you have all this butter, but there’s also all this liquid on top, which is the butter milk, and you have to squeeze all of that out of the solid butter that you have. It’s squishy and gross and awesome, and for those of you with children, I highly recommend this kitchen activity. Oh! And then you can use that buttermilk in recipes like buttermilk pancakes and whatnot. It’s kind of amazing actually. (Side note, the liquid pictured above is not the actual buttermilk. It’s just water because you also have to rinse your butter. That’s right, your butter gets a butter bath.)

From there, you add salt if you want and viola! BUTTER.

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Ironically at this point we decided not to put it on the bread, but instead we made a giant bowl of popcorn and melted some of our delicious homemade butter for that and I REGRET NOTHING.

Have you ever tried making butter?

Oh, Snow You Didn't.

I feel like everyone is experiencing amazing amounts of snow right now, EXCEPT FOR CONNECTICUT, and I’m not going to lie, friends… I’m not happy about this.

Last week we were supposed to get a massive amount of snow. A deluge, if you will. For days the forecast was like “OMG SO MUCH SNOW IS COMING YOUR WAY, CT. SO. MUCH. SNOW.”

Businesses were announcing that they would be closed days in advance. It was gonna be a big one.

And then the night before, everything changed.

All of a sudden the forecast was like “Ummmmm actually…. looks like it’s just gonna be a little snow followed by a disturbing amount of rain… so…. byeeeee.”

I was not happy.

The thing is, I love snow. I love snow so much that I have dogs who love snow. We just bought a new Jeep that is snow ready all the time, for crying out loud! Sometimes I spend my time on the internet just browsing for used dog sleds to purchase. We even received an antique toboggan as a wedding gift.

And right now it’s starting to feel a little personal. Like… am I too thirsty? Is snow kind freaked out by how much I like it? Is snow avoiding me?

I know that this is all probably due to climate change and global warming and whatnot, but the fact that the morning of our predicted storm I received a text from my mom in the family group chat with this photo…

….It just feels a little bit like Snow has been posting pictures with his hot new girlfriend all over my Instagram feed, you know? And you know Snow knows I can still see them. You know he’s posting these expecting me to see them.

And it’s frankly a little rude.

Like, what, am I not good enough or something?

(I just realized that in this scenario I’ve made my mom the hot new girlfriend of my ex, Snow, which is pretty screwed up when you think about it… or even when you don’t think about it, but we’re just going to roll with this because it’s the best metaphor I have for how I’m feeling right now. Don’t judge me.)

I guess all I’m asking is for Snow to give me one more chance. Let’s talk this out. I can’t promise that the dogs won’t pee on you again, but let’s be honest, that happens wherever you go.


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Goodbye, Ramona (or Way to Make it All About You, Jesus)

We bought a new car this week, which is on the one hand really exciting, but on the other hand also really sad, because in order to afford this new car, we had to trade in our old car, and my friends… I loved that car.

You probably wouldn’t have guessed that I loved her from the state of her. Ramona was not well taken care of, especially in our early days together. She was always dirty and in need of repair, and her insides were FULL of dog fur.

But… we’d been through a lot together. For a while all I really had was my dog Gio, and my Jeep, Ramona. Romana transported me not just to and from work and school, but she also got me from Ohio to Connecticut where I started a whole new job - a whole new life - and met The Mr.

When we got married, the kids that we work with at the church all worked together and surprised us by decorating Ramona with ridiculous “just married” graffiti, and because we thought it suited her, that stuff stayed on there for at least six months.

photo credit: JK Esslinger Photography

photo credit: JK Esslinger Photography

It would have stayed on longer, but when we came home for Christmas, my dad was so horrified that he went out there at 6am on Christmas morning and scrubbed it all off himself. Luckily, he forgot to check our interior rearview mirror.

Ramona brought us to the house where we met and picked up Aloy.

She’s been a part of everything.

And in so many ways, as we began to sign dotted lines at the dealership, I felt this overwhelming sense of guilt. We were literally trading her in for a younger model.

But The Mr reminded me that this was all good and that Ramona was going to probably have a great time at a farm upstate. I realize at this point that a lot of you might be reading this and thinking “wow, I knew Emelie was a little wacky, but… she knows the car doesn’t actually, like, feel things, right?” And to that I say you’ve clearly underestimated my delightful insanity.

As did our car dealer.

Me (to the car dealer): Please don’t judge me when you see me hug our old Jeep goodbye.

Dealer: Nah… I’ll only judge you if you cry.

Me: You’re definitely going to judge me.

I ran up and hugged her goodbye without even noticing that billboard across the street, and it’s not like I’m not a fan of Jesus, but NOT EVERYTHING IS ABOUT YOU, JESUS. GOD.

I ran up and hugged her goodbye without even noticing that billboard across the street, and it’s not like I’m not a fan of Jesus, but NOT EVERYTHING IS ABOUT YOU, JESUS. GOD.

I love you, Ramona. Thanks for everything.

And Rubi? You’ve got some big wheels to fill, but I’ve got a good feeling about you.

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Adventures in Homesteading

If you follow me on Instagram, I think we all knew I was heading in this direction. I live in the middle of nowhere on an abundance of land. I often document my (weirdly successful) attempts to make my own skincare and home cleaning products, and last year The Mr and I (somewhat unsuccessfully) started a raised bed vegetable garden.

So…. was anyone really that shocked to see that I bought this book the other day?

Gio really missed his calling as a model.

Buy the book here. Check out her blog here.

This lovely little book called out to me at work in the bookshop the other day, and much to The Mr’s and I’m sure many others’ concern, I brought it home and immediately dove in. Because you know what? I kind of do want to be a modern homesteader. Not, like, in a poop-in-a-bucket prepper kind of way, but just in a “hey, I make or grow what I can” kind of way.

I’m definitely not going to start a big farm or anything, but I think my ultimate dream looks something like this:

Eventually I’d like to find a 1-2 acre plot of land with a small, livable house already on it for like… not a lot of money? On this plot of land I’d like to have a decent vegetable garden that grows enough to make up for a lot of our food. I thin I’d like some chickens for eggs, and maybe some goats or a cow for milk. And that’s it. The house would be an ongoing project that we would constantly be working on.

This is not a thing that will happen any time soon, however, so until then, I’m going to do what I can and try new things as I’m able to. We have a nice little raised bed garden on the property we are currently renting and I’m going to learn from last year and go for it again this year.

I want to learn to make and mend instead of throwing away and replacing.

And I’m going to fail a lot. It will undoubtedly be hilarious and you know I’m not going to hide any of it. I’ll be posting about it on instagram and here on the blog as much as I can.

BUT DON’T WORRY: This is not going to be a blog all about homesteading now! Just sometimes. Because it’s a thing I do now. And I’m not very good at it.

But that’s what makes it fun, right?

What about you? Do you consider yourself a homesteader? What tips and tricks have you learned over the years? I need all the help I can get, so please feel free to share your knowledge down below!

Oh hi there!

So… December happened and I guess I kind of blacked out there for a minute? Basically I tripped and fell into a bunch of knitting projects and diy skincare gifts for my family and forgot that I have a writing career that I’m supposed to be keeping up with. Oops!

But the good news is that I’m back, and this accidental break from writing might have been exactly what I needed. I’m feeling refreshed and excited to get back to my keyboard, and that feeling is so perfectly timed with a new year right around the corner!

I’m not big on resolutions or that whole “new year, new you” concept, but I do like any opportunity to set goals.

For example, this year, I want to really hone my personal essay writing skills. I want to get back into meditation (Headspace is 40% off right now, btw!!), and I want to up my game when it comes to submissions. On a more personal level, I want to judge less - both in terms of myself and others.

I guess those count as resolutions? I don’t know, but hey, no judgement, right? I guess Resolutions get a bad rap, don’t they? Aren’t they really just goals? I think it’s good to have goals to work toward, as long as those goals aren’t “hey, I want to murder at least 15 more people this year” or “Let’s burn down more museums!” Those I feel are worth judging.

So maybe my resolution should be to be more selective with my judging? Like maybe I shouldn’t judge people who are just minding their own business, but I think it’s definitely okay to judge a little bit when murder is involved, right? Am I overthinking this?

What do you think? Do you make resolutions? Are you excited for 2019? Tell me in the comments below! I promise I won’t judge you. Unless your resolution is more murder.


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Creative ADD

I don’t know if this happens to anyone else, but I find that I’ve been going through phases of “creative ADD” lately.

I like to do a lot of things. I write, obviously, but I also like to crochet and knit, to bake, and I’ve started to get into gardening and making our own hygiene products. Normally, I would never say that this is a problem. It’s fun to have so many interests and passions! And yet… for some reason, no matter what I’m doing at any given moment, I find myself yearning to do another thing.

While I’m typing away at my laptop working on an essay, all I can really think about is whatever yarny project I have in the works.

While I’m sitting back and knitting up a storm, I suddenly get the urge to go make a pie or have another stab at bread-making.

I’ll be kneading dough and I think to myself, “I wonder if the weeds need pulling.”

And then out in the garden I suddenly have a great idea for an essay.

And so the cycle continues. It’s exhausting.

And I have no idea what to do about it other than wait it out and keep on plodding on. The good news is that it’s winter now, so the garden doesn’t need my attention, and plants don’t tend to survive in our house very well.

But that’s only one out of the umpteen things I like to do now.

So now I think I have to just schedule out my time in annoyingly structured segments, and I’ve tried to make a fun system by using my record player. I would put a record on and then switch activities every time I had to flip or change the record.

EXCEPT

Some things take longer than a record and cannot be paused. Baking for example is not a thing you can just walk away from and come back to later. Turns out that baking is annoyingly time-dependent.

So, I’m on the hunt for a way to keep myself going while also not neglecting my activities. If you have any tips, I’d love to hear about them in the comments below.

Until then, I’ll be knitting/writing/baking/doing whatever the heck my brain decides to focus on next.







Even *I* Think This is Crazy...

HAPPY (almost) HALLOWEEN, FRIENDS!

Halloween is easily my favorite holiday. I mean, I love Christmas, of course, but with Halloween, the pressure is so much lower, and it’s the time of year when being a weirdo and a freak is highly accepted.

Where we live, however, trick or treating doesn’t really happen like it does in the suburban town I grew up in. Out here in the real Stars Hollow, there are probably more cows and wild turkeys than there are children, and the chances of coming across a sidewalk are, well, less than zero.

So, the townsfolk have found an incredibly creepy alternative: Trunk or Treat, which feels like the most terrifying solution ever.

If you’re unfamiliar with the concept, Trunk or Treat is where a bunch of people all gather in a parking lot, and kids go from vehicle to vehicle getting free candy from strangers out of the trunks of their cars.

You know, like the very thing we’ve told children not to do for decades.

I guess the idea was to make Trick or Treating safer by avoiding getting hit by cars or whatever, but doesn’t this just sound like the perfect scenario for kidnappers to commit their crimes right under our noses? Also, how else will these kids learn to safely walk the streets at night begging for candy? WE ARE DENYING THEM OF IMPORTANT LIFE LESSONS, PEOPLE.

Does your town do Trunk or Treat? What are some of your favorite local Halloween traditions? Let me know in the comments below!


For those of you wondering about how my rheumatology appointment went, I don’t really have many updates yet, but there are many people asking many questions and apparently my hips are confusing lots of professionals. I’ll give more details when I have them!

Adventures In Bathing: A Sequel

Okay, so this is sort of a part 2 to my last blog post, so if you didn’t read that, click here to do so, because this won’t make that much sense if you don’t. Or maybe it will be more interesting that way. It’s up to you.



I received MANY offers to come and bathe in people’s homes over the past two weeks, which is weirdly lovely because I’m choosing to believe that these offers were politely humorous and not at all creepy. Life is better that way.

But one of my favorite reactions came from a girl we’ll call Bertrude (because she wanted a pseudonym that is “old and makes you think of hand knit scarves and fresh baked cookies”) who I met recently and am now mildly obsessed with for reasons that I feel should already be obvious.

Anyway, I was at work when I heard someone come in and say that she needed to speak with me.

Disembodied voice from behind me: Emelie…

Me: ….yyyyeees?

Bertrude: Hi! So… I’ve had it on my to-do list to come in a talk to you all week because I’ve been mildly stalking your blog since we friended each other on Facebook, and now I need to make sure you know about THIS:

FRIENDS. THEY MAKE INFLATABLE BATH TUBS.

Do you realize what this means???

  1. I clearly need more friends like Bertrude.

  2. I COULD BATHE ANYWHERE.

  3. LIKE OUTSIDE

  4. IN THE MEADOW

  5. ON HILLSIDES

  6. AT THE PARK

  7. ON THE ROOF

JUST THINK OF ALL THE POSSIBILITIES!!!!

The Mr, surprisingly, was not as thrilled by this discovery. He was all “This feels like a bad investment and also if you try to bathe in an inflatable bathtub you’ll probably get arrested, but also where would you get the water?”

So… I think we’re at a stalemate. Unless… we could convince him that this is actually a GREAT IDEA.

What do you think? Leave a comment down below with your vote. Unfortunately the bathtub pictured above is out of stock, but I’m sure we could find others. In fact, if you know of one, please drop the link in a comment when you vote!

BATHS FOR ALL!!!!!

P.S. I also just realized that there is a narwhal on that bathtub and now I need it even more.

P.P.S. Bertrude’s boyfriend has entered the scene and apparently while he was in Sweden this summer he found THIS bucket posing as a bathtub and now I don’t know what to do.