Dear Life, I Will Stay Positive, So Just Stop Trying to Piss Me Off. You're Wasting Your Time.

So, the other day, I posted this on Facebook: Screen Shot 2014-02-27 at 4.21.43 PM

Day 1: I'm driving home and it's been a warm day, so I'm not thinking about ice. I go around a bend in the road and  suddenly my car is like "Yay!!! Let's go in circles!! Weeeeeee!!!!!!" and then the snow bank on the side of the road was like "STOP!"

I get myself straightened out and think "Okay, let's just get home, because we're right down the road. We'll check the car there."

I do just that and I'm amazed, but barely a scratch on the girl, so I sighed a sigh of relief and went inside to go to bed.

Apparently I should have been thinking about ice.

Day 2: My Jeep, Ramona, is all gruffy when I start her up. I'm all "Ramona, were you smoking last night?" and she's all "I'M SIIIIICK"

So, I call the mechanic as soon as I get home and make an appointment for my day off that week to bring the Jeep in to fix what I assume was my muffler.

I was wrong.

Day 3: I'm on my way to work and I start going up a hill. Ramona is wheezing like an asthmatic chain smoker and I'm reciting "The Little Engine That Could" to her in hopes that she'll pull through. That's when I slowed down and heard a "rrrrrrr-d-d--d-d----d--d--dderr....."

And then nothing. The car locked up. I couldn't even put it into neutral... so that's awesome.

The lucky thing (yes, there are lucky things in this situation) is that I broke down right outside of the church that I attend, so... I abandoned my vehicle in the middle of the road and ran inside to use the phone because I live in an area with no cell phone service (yaaaay...). First I called work and then I called the auto shop and then I ran back outside to hang out with my car again. As I was sitting on the hood and waiting for the tow truck, a cop shows up.

My mind: Oh please... let's just add a ticket to this...

Cop: Is this your car?

Me: Yeah...

Cop: Did you break down?

Me: No, I just thought the view was pretty here... Yeah, it just puttered out and stopped. It's totally locked up.

Cop: That sucks.

Me: Yeah...

So he hung out with me and made small talk until the tow truck showed up, which was nice, given the circumstances, and it kept me from having the stress induced break-down that I knew was on its way.

So the tow truck guy was nice and gave me a ride to work (because this girl shows up in style) and he was all "We'll call you at the store when we know what's up." and I was like "That is the kiss of death...."

So, all morning passes, and I hear nothing.

I go to lunch.

I come back and still nothing.

I call them.

Mechanic: Hello?

Me: Hi, it's Emelie at the book shop. You came and rescued me this morning in my Jeep Wrangler.

Mechanic: Yeah, the red one?

Me: Yeah.

Mechanic: Yeah... it doesn't sound good.

Me: I know, but you say that as if it's making sound, so that's good, right?

Mechanic: ...It needs a new engine.

Me: ...I'm sorry, what?

Mechanic: You heard right.

Me: Yaaaay.....

So then I got home that night and as I'm pulling in the driveway in my borrowed car I realize that my house keys are attached to my car keys, which are at the auto shop.... And that's how I found out that I can pick locks with bobby pins.

So, all in all, it was a pretty okay day. Right?

Okay, maybe not. It might sound like my life is crappy right now, BUT there are pros... and cons:

  • Pro: The mechanic said that it was clearly not a maintenance issue and that it was just a crappy situation. So, I was doing everything right.
  • Con: I WAS DOING EVERYTHING RIGHT.

 

  • Pro: No one was hurt.
  • Con: Except for Ramona (my car, for those of you who weren't paying attention). She's pretty hurt.

 

  • Pro: My pastor is awesome and happens to have a car to spare right now, so I'm not without transportation.
  • Con: Now I'm a nervous wreck while driving someone else's car.

 

  • Pro: I'm an optimist, so I always try and see the good side of things.
  • Con: Because I'm an optimist, life finds a way of trying to challenge me in that area.
  • Pro: I'm totally winning, so suck it, Life.

 

optimism

 

 

In other news, there's a new book review for Page Break, check it out here.