The other night, we received our PupJoy box, full of goodies for the dogs, and one of the toys was this GIANT rubber squeaky bone covered in cloth that kind of looked like it was stolen from Fred Flinstone's closet?
Yes. The fabric looked exactly like his... dress? That's a dress, right? Fred Flinstone: Man of Confidence. Wait... was Fred Flinstone poached to make my dog's toy?!?! WHAT ABOUT BAM-BAM?!?!
I can't think about this right now. THIS WAS NOT THE POINT OF THIS STORY WHEN I STARTED.
Let's focus, people.
So my dogs got this giant, rubber, squeaky toy and Aloy was in love with it right away. So she was all "IMMA SQUEAK THIS THING SO MUCH." And then she did for like 45 minutes before she got distracted and then Gio was like "I shall skin it."
And so he did that and then when Aloy came back she was all "WAIT, MY TOY HAS CHANGED THERE IS A NEW PART THAT I DIDN'T SEE BEFORE."
And then she proceeded to INGEST HALF OF THE RUBBER BONE WITHIN THE FLINSTONE SKIN.
Of course, The Mr and I didn't notice that she was actually EATING the rubber until half of it was gone and we were like "Well, crap. Now what?"
And basically the only answer to that is to just... wait it out.
So fast-forward to 4am. I woke up to what I thought was The Mr screaming. And so I said "What's wrong, why are you screaming?" and he was like "I'm not. THAT WAS ALOY."
Our dog SCREAMED LIKE A HUMAN. And not like a blood-curtling shriek. She just screamed like "AHH"
It was like she was possessed by some weird Rubber Ghost.
But then she puked up a bunch of rubber and everything was fine.
Okay, now let's get back to the important thing. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME ANY OF US SAW THE FLINSTONES ALIVE?
And now, for some business:
I'll be performing at this open mic night on Saturday Night with some really amazing people. All proceeds go to the Loaves and Fishes Soup Kitchen in New Milford, CT. If you're able to make it, please do! I'm reading one of my most awkward pieces I've ever written, and everyone else will be reading really incredible stuff, so it should be a good time for us all.
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Last night was the October Public #SundaySupdates. "What is #SundaySupdates?" #SundaySupdates is a show on which I answer your questions while preparing supper on a Sunday. On the last Sunday of every month, #SundaySupdates is public! Yay! All other episodes will only be available to the Awkward Ambassadors on Patreon. To become an Awkward Ambassador, click here: https://www.patreon.com/awkwardlyalive
Check out last night's episode here and then go sign up on Patreon to join in the fun every week! It only almost always starts and ends in disaster.