Last weekend, The Mr ABANDONED ME and went to visit his family in Almost-Canada-Northern New York for the weekend and a lot of weird stuff went down while he was gone, but I'm still working on getting all of the words down, so instead I'm going to tell you about a ridiculously traumatic series of conversations we had.
While he was on his way to visit his family:
Me: Hey, have you arrived yet? Call me when you get there safely please!
The Mr (hours later): We're still on the road. Service here is really spotty. We're in Lake Placid.
Me: Uh oh. Don't get eaten by a giant alligator.
The Mr: Wrong lake.
Me: What? No! That movie was totally called Lake Placid and a giant alligator lived in the lake... it was like a knock-off of the Loch Ness Monster and it was hilarious. Plus Betty White is in it and she's amazing even though she does some serioulsy insane things in this film.
The Mr: I know, but that's based on a different Lake Placid. The Lake Placid in that movie is in Maine.
Me: WHAT. THERE ARE TWO LAKE PLACIDS??
The Mr: Maybe more.
Me: NO. THAT IS RIDICULOUS.
The Mr: It's basically like high street. Also, I'm losing service again.
Me: NO. It is NOT like High Street. Every town has a High Street and kids always go around stealing the street signs so that they can hang them in their basements where they smoke weed. LAKE PLACID IS NOT LIKE HIGH STREET. Lake Placid is too iconic! There cannot be two Lake Placids!
And then APPARENTLY The Mr lost service because he stopped responding, but he called me when he got to his parent's house and I was already basically asleep, so I don't even remember the conversation.
The next day during my lunch break at work:
Me: I'm still upset about Lake Placid.
The Mr: What do you mean?
Me: What do you mean? There should not be two!!
The Mr: Well... I don't know what to say... maybe get a petition going to change it?
Me: The damage is already done...
And then later that night, we FaceTimed...
Me: I feel like you're not taking this seriously.
The Mr: What?
Me: This Lake Placid issue! Why are there two lakes called Lake Placid?
The Mr: I mean.... I'm pretty sure Lake Placid isn't even a lake in New York...
The Mr: Yeah... I think it's just the name of the town.
Me: But your brother swam in the lake there!
The Mr: That lake is called "Lake Flower"
Me: I HATE GEOGRAPHY.
But here's the thing... I googled it and it turns out that Lake Placid, NY is actually near a lake of the same name, so there is some justice in the world, BUT the movie Lake Placid? The lake in that movie is actually just called Black Lake, so.... WHY WOULD THEY CALL THE MOVIE THAT?
Clearly this issue is still not over for me.... But am I alone here? Please comment down below.
Things I loved on the Internet this week:
This Seth Meyers interview with Beth Ditto because she is just delightful and we should all aspire to have her joy.
Man Breaks Guinness World Record for Slicing Watermelons on His Stomach -- WHY IS THIS A THING??
All Bloggess posts are fabulous, but her cross-stitch project in this one is fantastic.
Speaking of The Bloggess, she's featured on this list of hilarious female writers.