An actual conversation I had with Boyfriend while falling asleep last night: Me: I don't have enough blanket.
Boyfriend: ...I know where this is going.
Me: What do you mean?
Boyfriend: You're going to end up doing a crocodile death spin and taking the entire blanket.
Me: I do not do a crocodile death spin!
Boyfriend: Yes you do.
Me: Are you seriously claiming that I whip around in the middle of the night like a crocodile to gain the blanket?
Boyfriend: No. You don't whip around. It's more like a slow roll.
Me: Like a beached whale?
Boyfriend: If that's the analogy you want to use.
Me: I can't believe you're comparing me to a beached whale.
Boyfriend: What?! You compared yourself to a beached whale! I compared you to a majestic crocodile!
Me: No. I drew the conclusion to the beached whale because you described a beached whale.
Boyfriend: I don't even know where to go from here, Emelie.
I think we all know who the real winner is here.