I don't understand why people always assume that *I'm* the crazy one in this relationship.

An actual conversation I had with Boyfriend while falling asleep last night: Me: I don't have enough blanket.

Boyfriend: ...I know where this is going.

Me: What do you mean?

Boyfriend: You're going to end up doing a crocodile death spin and taking the entire blanket.

Me: I do not do a crocodile death spin!

Boyfriend: Yes you do.

Me: Are you seriously claiming that I whip around in the middle of the night like a crocodile to gain the blanket?

Boyfriend: No. You don't whip around. It's more like a slow roll.

Me: Like a beached whale?

Boyfriend: If that's the analogy you want to use.

Me: I can't believe you're comparing me to a beached whale.

Boyfriend: What?! You compared yourself to a beached whale! I compared you to a majestic crocodile!

Me: No. I drew the conclusion to the beached whale because you described a beached whale. 

Boyfriend: I don't even know where to go from here, Emelie.

I think we all know who the real winner is here.