John Hamm is a Freaking Badass and Will Probably Have to Kill You.

So, John Hamm is going through the process of becoming a Foreign Service Officer.

She just took her exam this week and she was super nervous about it. It's just the first step in the process, and she won't get her results for weeks, but I'm still super proud of John Hamm for even being badass enough to have the balls to do this stuff.
The following is the conversation we had the morning of her exam via text:
John Hamm: Haha, thanks! I don't know how this is going to go at all...
Me: Awesomely because of your awesomeness. Duh.
John Hamm: Blerg.
Me: I BELIEVE IN YOU!! What time is it at? And I'm assuming drinks are happening no matter what tonight, right?
John Hamm: It's at 2, and I don't know, I didn't really have anything planned...
Me: Well now you do! :) We will drink for your glory tonight!!
John Hamm: We'll see...Sorry, I'm just a little frazzled, I'll be able to plan better after this test is done.
Me: No worries. I know you're stressed. Good luck today and don't sweat it too much. At the end of the day, you still kick ass.
John Hamm: Fanks! It's just day-of jitters, I'll be fine. Also, the implications of what happens if I pass are hitting me.
Me: :) That's good, though, right?
John Hamm: Well, yeah, but at the same time it is a job where the possibility of being seriously injured or killed isn't totally outlandish. I've never signed up for anything like that before.
Me: Whoa. I did not realize that.
John Hamm: The chances that I'd get stationed somewhere like Libya or Egypt or anything are really slim, but depending on the political climate in any given country... And the election could change everything with that. Not to mention that the track I chose requires a hardship post...
Me: That's insane!! But it would totally make you more of a badass... I'm just gonna focus on that. You really will be Black Widow*..
John Hamm: You know I won't be killing people, right?
Me: You never know...
John Hamm: Sigh... I suppose you're right. Guess I better start assempling alter egos now, huh? ...Unfortunately, this does mean that I have to kill you since you know who I really am... OR DO YOU?!?
Me: D:
So there you have it. You all know her threats and if I mysteriously go missing, send them after John Hamm. She is already the prime suspect when it comes to my death - and let's be honest, there's no way I'm going out in some plain old fashion, like rabies** or cholera. It only makes sense that I'd die because my best friend became an assassin and buried me alive with sewer rats just to shut me up.
*John Hamm is planning on dressing up as Black Widow for Halloween.
**I totally had to google "is rabies deadly?"

A photo I had made of John Hamm in her future career:

Now you all know who to look for when I die.