An actual conversation I had with the Bestbian this morning via text*:
*The Mr also wants me to add a disclaimer that if you're grossed out by body talk, you might not dig this one. Sorry not sorry.
Me: Whoa, <that girl we worked with five years ago at a restaurant> is pregnant now too?
Bestbian: Good lord all these women and their babies.
Me: Why is everyone breeding so much? CALM DOWN, PEOPLE.
Bestbian: I KNOW, THERE ARE SO MANY PEOPLE ON THIS EARTH ALREADY.
Me: Please don't get pregnant. I can't handle that responsibility.
Bestbian: Never. You hold off at least for a while too, or I will freak out.
Me: FOREVER. Pee and blood are the only things I will allow to come out of my vagina and that's only because I have no choice in the matter.
Bestbian: ...I need to know that you know you don't pee from your vagina.
Me: Well, yeah, but you know what I meant. That region is off limits.
Bestbian: No baby zone.
Me: Precisely. We should get spayed together one day.
Bestbian: I would love that. Tubal ligation buddies!
Bestbian: We could put out notices that we're finally tying the knot. .........in our Fallopian tubes.
Still with me? YAY! Because I also have some news:
On April 8th, my writer's group is performing excerpts of our work at The Hickory Stick Bookshop in Washington Depot, CT! You should come. I'll be there and I'll be reading some new material! There will also be a bunch of talented people reading their work.