My Dog Ate a Candle - I Can't Make This Up, People.

Last night, I got out of work and went home to pick up my dog and laundry before heading over to my parents' house for the week. John Hamm was going to meet me there for a wine and movie night, so I was in kind of a hurry. 
Now, normally, I come home and find Gio snoozing on my bed. Occasionally, though, I'll find a ripped up Taco Bell bag that I forgot to throw away or, for some weird reason, a destroyed pair of my own underwear. 
I never expected to find a candle chewed to bits all over my bed sheets.
That's when John Hamm texted me: Stop and go traffic at
Me: My dog ate a candle and puked it up on my bed.
That's right, readers. It wasn't just a chewed up candle. It was a chewed up and then puked up candle - all over my bed sheets. Why is that always the scene of the crime?!? More importantly, WHAT THE HECK DRIVES A DOG TO EAT A CANDLE?!?!
I did my best to clean it all up in a hurry, shaking the bed sheet out in my yard and then tossing it into the washing machine for me to deal with when I returned a week later. 
I loaded Gio (who, by the way, was wagging his tail and looking happier than ever) into my car and called my vet friend Gumby while I was driving.
Gumby: Hello?
Me: Can my dog die from eating a candle?
Gumby: Can your dog... wait - say that again?
Me: Can my dog die from eating a candle?
Gumby: Oh, Gio.... *sigh* I think he should be fine... I mean... He ate a candle?
Me: Well, he ate it and puked it back up all over my bed. Stop laughing.
Gumby: Sorry. Um, yeah, I think he should be okay. Just keep and eye on him and make sure he drinks water. Oh, Gio...
Me: I know! Then again, I've had nothing to write about for two days now - it seems like every time I have writer's block, my dog does something retarded. 
Gumby: See? He's just trying to help!
So, the good news is, my dog is doing just fine now. The bad news is that I probably have to get rid of most of my candles... and I freaking love candles. 
This is a photo from another night, but I felt that it was appropriate. John Hamm's sister took this, and I love it.