Plant Drama

The Mr and I decided to plant a vegetable garden this year. 

We think about doing this every year, but usually late in the summer when everyone else's gardens are providing them with food and we're all "HEY WE WANT THAT," but then nature is all "WELL MAYBE YOU SHOULD HAVE THOUGHT OF THAT A FEW MONTHS AGO, IDIOTS." 

Nature can be a real B sometimes that way. 

But this year? This year we are on top of things. We are ORGANIZED. And I am learning A LOT:

For example: Certain plants like each other and certain plants don't. They're sort of like middle school cliques in that way. Tomatoes and basil love each other, but don't you dare plant your tomatoes next to the beets. Apparently the beets said something about the tomatoes looking a little plump one year and it's been a drama-fest ever since. The basil doesn't really like drama, though, so Basil will hang out with anyone. Basil is like that guy at the party who wears those "Life is Good" shirts. He just smiles and nods at people and everyone is like "Oh heyyyy, Basil - what's up?" and Basil usually just responds with words like "Cool." 

I know what you're thinking: Emelie, what you described is totally the marijuana plant. 

But this is when I disagree, because have you ever looked at a marijuana plant? They're so loud looking - and very temperamental. They act like they're all chill, but really, marijuana plants are needy AF, so every other plant is like "Ugh, marijuana is here... great. Let's just get what we need from him and then someone else call his phone and tell him his heat lamp exploded at his house or whatever so that he leaves."

Which is just one reason why I won't be planting any marijuana plants in my veggie garden. I don't need that energy there. The other reason is that I don't smoke weed. Oh, and it's still illegal. 

Where was I? Oh right, so plants are very tribal, apparently, so now I have charts and graphs all over my apartment while I try and figure out who can sit next to who, which is hilarious given the fact that we didn't even have seating charts at our wedding because our families didn't even have this much drama. I feel like I need a mediator for my plants! 

OH, and then there was the moment when we realized that our garden was twice as large as we initially calculated because apparently MATH ISN'T OUR THING, so now we have to introduce a whole bunch of new plants into this middle school of a dirt mound and I'm just a little worried that our current plants are going to pull some serious pranks. 

Maybe I should give them a talking-to first? 

If you have any great tips or resources for vegetable gardening, I would love the help. Leave links or advice in the comments below! 


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