Welcome to the new site, Duckies!!

So... What do you think? My good friend and web designer "Jackie Chan" and I worked pretty hard on this. New pictures, new layout... It's the new and improved me! You can even advertise with me now (which I totally recommend that you do.).

Content-wise, this site is basically the same, but it's just a little cleaned up and fresher looking. Dare I call it... professional?

Anyway, I hope you like it, Duckies! I'll be doing a real post tomorrow about a zombie wedding that I just attended. No joke. In the meantime, enjoy the following video, which should undoubtedly make you pee your pants. Seriously.

And Then a Thai Lady Got Sassy With Me on My First Night Kind Of Alone.

So, as many of you know, I recently returned to my apartment after a few weeks of avoiding being alone. On my first night back, I got rid of the bed that Dragon had donated to me while we were still together and replaced it with my own tiny bed that barely fits me and my dog together, but has opened up an amazing amount of floor space in my bedroom for practicing drunken monkey fighting styles yoga. That evening, Jackie Chan came over to make sure I wasn't curled in a ball in the corner in panic help me move some furniture around. We ended up ordering Thai food for dinner from a small Thai restaurant around the corner. That phone call was... interesting:

Thai Gourmet Lady: Hello, Thai Gourmet!

Me: Hi! I'd like to place an order for pick-up, please?

TGL: Okay, phone number?

I gave her mine.

TGL: Name?

Me: Emelie.

TGL: Sorry?

Me: Emelie.

TGL: Name?

Me: Emelie.

TGL: NAME???

Me: EMELIE!!! E-M-E-L-I-E

TGL: (mumbling my name as she writes) Okay, what you want?

Then we went back and forth shouting about what I wanted to eat. Apparently one of us had a really bad connection, but eventually we finished the call and hung up. It also didn't help matters that Jackie Chan was cracking up in the background during the whole conversation.

Anyway, so we go to pick up the food, and the woman hands me the receipt:

I scratched out my phone number so that you guys don't start stalking me. I  know your type.

See where it says "Anoy"? Yeah. That's supposed to say my name. I was dealing with the sassiest Thai lady in Ohio. I think her whole plan was to misspell "annoy" so that it seems like she just misunderstood what I was saying on the phone, but I'm falling for nothing, here.

And here's the other thing: I am so going back and I'm using that name every time. Just to spite her.