And now I live in a hotel with a squirrel named Stanley.

It's official: HE'S ALL MOVED IN. His apartment is still in chaos, of course, but as of July 3rd, Boyfriend is a Connecticutian! HOORAY! I'm sure fantastic stories will follow about his adjustment process to living in Stars Hollow. I know that people were actually walking up to his parents while they were moving him in to ask all sorts of questions because this is small town life and when we see something, we say something. It's sort of like an airport in that way (and in no other way at all).

What makes this extra special is that he moved in over the Fourth of July weekend and it turns out that this tiny town actually puts on one hell of a fireworks show, so we walked over to the high school to check those out and I'd be lying if I didn't feel like the fireworks were actually in celebration of our own personal momentous occasion and not just the birthday of our great nation. It was pretty spectacular.

Also, now that we live so close to each other, Boyfriend thinks we should get Walkie Talkies. I am not against this idea.

Anyway, all this moving in and setting up apartments has gotten me all inspired to start doing stuff around my own house. While Boyfriend and I were on vacation, my friend Zoe watched the house and the dog and, being a chef/restaurant manager, she was appalled at my lack of a system in my kitchen, which is fair seeing as how my general process is this: "I need to put this somewhere... where does it fit? Ah! In this cupboard." This is regardless of what else is in that cupboard.

And the fridge is just a pile of cold things, let's be honest.

So as an early birthday present, Zoe came over yesterday and drank beer with me while we organized my kitchen. And now it is beautiful. IMG_3682

Zoe's personal favorite area is the coffee corner: IMG_3688

Mainly because it has this feature: IMG_3689

Zoe says it makes her feel like she's in a little hotel. I also think the fact that there is a squirrel involved has something to do with it because he is adorable. His name is Stanley.

So yeah, I guess this week has been pretty major. Boyfriend is living in town now and I officially live in a hotel.

With a squirrel.

Named Stanley.

Humphrey.

So I was sitting in my living room, drinking my coffee and reading the paper the other morning when all of a sudden I heard a big BANG and a CRASH above my head. Humphrey was rearranging.

Humphrey is my mysterious upstairs tenant. I don't know what he is, but he lives in my attic and I have never seen him. He is definitely bigger than a mouse, but smaller than The Hulk.

Every now and again I hear him doing things up there and I think "I should go up there and investigate to figure out what he is," but then I open my attic door and I start going up the stairs and suddenly everything gets very quiet  and all these images of a rabid opossum lunging at my face start going through my head so I turn around and go back downstairs, leaving Humphrey to live in peace. Let's be honest here, people: Is there anything creepier than an opossum's face coming at you from the dark?

I've decided that Humphrey is one of the following:

  1. A squirrel. He definitely runs around a lot and when he knocked over whatever he knocked over the other day, he ran laps around the attic for about half an hour in a panic. Also, I live out in the woods, so squirrels are in good supply around here. It's the most logical answer if you're into that sort of thing. He could also be a raccoon. Both of these options are adorable.
  2. A boggart. Humphrey never sounds like he's just one size. Some days he sounds little, and on those days, Humphrey tends to hang out in the walls. Other days I can hear each individual footstep as he walks around the space above my bedroom. Either way, I'm sort of pissed that I still don't have a wand because when it comes to boggarts, you really need a wand. Add this to list of reasons I need to go to Harry Potter World.
  3. The Weasley Family Ghoul's Cousin. Obviously I'm not silly enough to think that The Weasley Family Ghoul moved from the Burrow to come live in my attic. That would be a ridiculous assumption. Maybe he has a cousin who did, though, right? I mean, this would make sense. Just like the Weasleys, I don't think of Humphrey as a pest, but more as a pet at this point. I call up to him when he's being to loud, or when things fall over, I shout "Are you okay, Humphrey?" and then he moves around a bit as if to be like "Yeah, I'm good, thanks!" Humphrey and I have excellent communication skills.

Whatever Humphrey may be, I have come to love him and the idea of him leaving my house feels very sad. Also, I'm sort of too terrified of him to try and kick him out. See photo above.

Window? Squirrel Parkour Course? I've Heard It Both Ways.

So, my best friend, who has decided to go by the pseudonym "John Hamm" on this blog (so as to avoid any Internet association with me) texted me this video just now:

Me: Oh my gosh. So cute.

JH: He's growling at me now!

Me: Haha! I love him.

JH: I think I'm gonna turn on the air conditioner and show him what's up.

Me: No! That's so mean!!

JH: I think he tried to attack me through the window... It was kind of adorable, but totally fruitless.

Me: Awww. What a cutie! Name?

JH: Haven't thought of one... But "Snape"* talks to the squirrels like they're outdoor kitty cats, so maybe I should pick one.

Me: I think so... Neville? Or Seamus? Seamus was pretty squirrelly.... and he always caught on fire.

JH: Maybe Gerald. But I think I name everything Gerald.

Me: Ha. Gerald...

JH: Maybe Starbuck. Because it started of cute and then it got really annoying...

Me: YES.

 

*"Snape" is "John Hamm's" boyfriend. He really does look and sort of talk like Snape. It's uncanny and a little disturbing.