This is why I don't shop at real stores.

First of all, thank you to all of you who responded to my post my last week. Thank you for the comments, the text messages, the tweets, and the emails. It was awesome to receive so many messages of encouragement. Especially this one: Thanks, Mom.

I don't know if this ever happens to you, but I feel like every time I write a post or even just talk to a friend about an issue I'm having, that issue almost immediately starts to go away.

After hitting "publish" last week, things started to happen that I felt like I could blog about and I started reading posts from bloggers who seemed to be going through exactly the same thing. It's like there was something in the air. Or everyone was watching Orange is the New Black and therefore couldn't muster the emotional energy to sit down and write.

Anyway, on to blog-worthy thing #1.

This guy, who was just hanging out so nonchalantly at an antique shop that I didn't even notice him right away:IMG_3591

Now you might be asking "How the hell do you not notice a 15-foot-tall alien statue, Emelie?" and to that I say "I DON'T KNOW. MAYBE BECAUSE HE HAS ALIEN POWERS AND CAN BE INVISIBLE WHENEVER HE WANTS TO BE."

But that's just a theory.

The other logical reason is that there was so much stuff (weirdly none of it made it into this photo, so please just trust me.) outside of this antique shop that my brain was overloaded and I spent a lot of time looking down to make sure I wasn't going to trip on something and subsequently fall straight into, oh I don't know... an alien's crotch.

I think one of my favorite things about him though is that he seems to be listening to all of your problems. Look at him, with his hands folded so peacefully, and his head tilted so understandingly as if to say "Yes, I can see why you're so upset about that."

Or maybe it's a bride!

"I do!"

The possibilities are endless, you guys. ENDLESS.

P.S. I sent that alien-bride image to Boyfriend and apparently it is absolute nightmare fuel for him, so.... this can only get more fun.

P.P.S. I invite you to photoshop your own version of our new comrade here and post it in the comments section below or tag me on Instagram.

 

Problem? I Don't Have a Problem.

This is what part of my kitchen looks like: COFFEEEEEEEEEEE

Let me explain: The French Press and the regular drip coffee maker are both originally mine. As in, I obtained them on my own because I needed wanted them. Everything else? Those were gifts from various people.

My friend's mom called me a week before I moved out to Connecticut and told me that she had been cleaning out the attic and found some stuff I might want. When I got there to look at the "stuff" I found the espresso machine, and upon that espresso machine was a sticky note with my name on it. It would have been rude at that point to not take it.

Then a few days later, I went out for one last goodbye dinner with another friend of mine. When I got to the restaurant, she was sitting there with a giant gift bag on the seat next to her.

"What was inside," you ask? The Keurig. Again, what kind of friend would I be to not accept such a thoughtful gift?

So... fast-forward to Christmas: the grinder appears in my life. That glorious baby has 18 different settings so that I can now grind whatever coffee beans I like to suit whichever coffeemaker I so choose to use that morning. It's like absolute bliss for me. I also got various bags of coffee beans which are now happily residing in my freezer, awaiting the day that I say, "Congratulations! You get to fuel me for the next few days! You have been chosen!" In my head, I picture the bags of coffee all reacting like those aliens in Toy Story. You know the ones: they're all stuck in the claw machine and they go "Ooooooo," and it's super adorable yet kind of terrifying. Yeah, that's my coffee.

I know what you're thinking: Wow. Emelie must really like coffee.

You're right. I do. I practically worship the stuff. Some people say I have a "problem" or an "addiction," but I know they're all just joking around, because there hasn't been an intervention yet, and interventions are, like, really in right now, you guys.

Not to mention, if people really thought it was a problem they wouldn't be enabling me, right? I mean, who gives a crack addict a pipe for Christmas? Let's be honest.

Plus, studies* show that 2 cups of coffee a day is really good for you, and by my logic, that must mean that 8 to 10 cups of coffee a day is REALLY good for you.

Basically, I'm just super health-conscious.

Also, feel free to send me coffee.

*I can't think of specific studies right now, but I know they're out there. 

If Curiosity Finds a Cat, He Best Live Out His Proverb.

So, some of you may remember when I took Dragon to pick out a kitty. That kitten is crazy.

Seriously, she's like an insane black puffball with eyes.

We tried naming her all sorts of things, like Reggie, but nothing was sticking so we just call her Kitty. Dragon did think of one that kind of stuck: Blackie Chan. It does suit her, due to the fact that she spends most of her time running and jumping off of walls and then attacking people as they walk by unsuspectingly...

Other than that, we thought she was normal...and then Dragon texted me...

Dragon: Kitty shit all over herself last night and was wiping her butt all over the carpet like a dog.

Me: Hahahahahahahahahaha - that's hilarious.

Dragon: No. Now there are shit stains everywhere.

Me: Maybe she was decorating? Or trying to send a message? KIND OF LIKE CROP CIRCLES!!

Dragon never responded to that, but it really got me thinking that this cat is some sort of crazy alien Kitty sent to destroy us or befriend us or probe us or something... She is strangely fascinated with certain body parts of the human that differ from her own... like noses, feet, or hands... And pants... She's always attacking pants...

So what if she's sent here to learn how we work and then all the other Kitty Aliens are going to invade Earth and our brains and then they'll start ruling the world and making us their minions??? THAT'S why the new Mars Rover is named Curiosity! NASA already knows about the Kitty Aliens!! WAY TO GO NASA!!!

This is why I'm a dog person. Gio is so not smart enough to invade Earth and I like it that way.