"SCATTER!" -My Brain.

My Bestbian is on her way to visit me from Boston RIGHT NOW and I am beyond excited because I haven't seen her since my wedding day (which was sadly the day I married someone other than her. Damn you, sexuality!)

We have MUCH catching up to do, so forgive me if this post is a little frazzled. Afterall, she now has to get to know me as a married lady and not her awesome, super hot single friend.

Just kidding. I've always been a married lady - I just only got the spouse recently.

Anyway, The Mr is yelling at me without using his words right now because the house needs to be cleaned just a little bit more before Bestbian arrives. I realize that sounds confusing, but it is possible to yell without actually using any sounds from your body. Basically, he's just walking around cleaning, but he's doing it really loudly, and history has taught me that this means "PLEASE GET OFF YOUR BUTT AND HELP ME PREPARE FOR YOUR FRIEND."

Or maybe he's just really passionate about cleaning?

Anyway, I should probably go... but to make up for this very scattered blog post, I'll be doing a live Q&A on Sunday night at 8pmEST for public #SundaySupdates! You should totally join me.

Also, here's a cute picture of my puppy who is definitely not this small anymore and is definitely trying to steal a sip of my vodka tonic as I write this. YOU'RE TOO YOUNG, ALOY.


#SundaySupdates, a live Q&A I do WHILST COOKING, is live and public this Sunday at 8pm! Most Sundays it’s just for the Patreon people, but the last Sunday of every month, I open it up to ALL OF YOU! Can’t make it? Post a question in the comments or on Twitter using the hashtag #SundaySupdates and I’ll answer it during the livestream!


This blog is able to remain ad-free because of the awesome community of Awkward Ambassadors on Patreon. If you’d like to become an Awkward Ambassador and receive special perks (like exclusive vlogs or messages from my dog), please click here.

23 things to make you smile. Right now.

If you follow me on Twitter, you may have noticed that I've been making more of an effort to spread cheer and optimism over there. I don't really know what started this, but for some reason lately, I've been trying to broadcast happiness on a grand scale. Maybe it's because the headlines lately have been exhaustingly sad and rageful. Or maybe it's just because I like happy things and I honestly don't think the world can have enough happiness. Either way, yesterday, I asked people on twitter to only tweet about the good stuff happening and using the hashtag, #HappyTweets. Now, I'm not a person with a ton of followers, so this didn't take off quite as much as I'd hoped it would, but that's okay. I still managed to tweet happy things, and I'm going to keep this going, even here on the blog. So... in the event that you just need a reason to smile, here is a list of things to be happy about in spite of what the news tells us:

  1. Puppies. I tweeted about this yesterday, but how incredible is it that we live on a planet on which puppies exist? Puppies, possibly the cutest things ever, happen all the time. They're just all around. And then, on top of them being cute, THEY LOVE EVERYONE. Have you ever met a puppy that didn't want to snuggle or play? Many books have been written on the love that dogs give us, but I think puppies deserve an extra boost right now because we are so lucky to live in the same universe as them. Just soak that incredible fact in.
  2. Artists. Okay, so I'm also floored by just how amazing it is that we are living at a time when people like Jenny Lawson, Hank Green, J.K. Rowling, Hannah Hart, Ben Folds, Rainbow Rowell, etc. all create stuff that we get to enjoy and learn from. Every day, there are amazing artists of all types creating things that we just get to sit down and be like "THIS IS A THING I ENJOY" and then we get to walk away feeling inspired by those people and things they do. Especially now. Now we are in a time when content is just constantly available to us - and often for free. This brings me to the next thing...
  3. The Internet. Okay, I know: The Internet can be full of terrible people, but you know what? It's also full of amazing people and amazing communities. Before the Internet, the only people available to you were just the ones physically surrounding you. If they weren't into the same stuff you were, that was just the pits. Now? Now you get to go online and log onto some forum or social media account and say "HEY, I'M REALLY PASSIONATE ABOUT FAKE LIZARDS MADE OF SAND AND WAX." and someone else could be like, "OH MY GOD, ME TOO!!" and now you have a new friend who is in a totally different country. The Internet is an amazing place for people in search of community and friendships. I met the love of my life because of the Internet. I'm able to write and have a small group of readers because of the Internet. I'm currently listening to music because of the Internet. All the jerks out there? They are nothing in comparison to the awesomeness that I find on the Internet.
  4. Books. THERE ARE SO MANY STORIES OUT THERE TO READ. FAIRY TALES AND REALISTIC FICTION AND MURDER MYSTERIES AND SCI-FI AND HISTORY. IT'S ALL OUT THERE JUST WAITING FOR YOU. HOW AWESOME IS THAT?
  5. Flowers growing through cracks in the sidewalk. This doesn't need any explanation. Tiny, delicate, beautiful things emerge and break through the toughest of materials. As cliche as it is, this metaphor is wonderful and we should all remind ourselves of it daily.
  6. Music. No matter your taste, music is out there for you to fall in love to and with. Perfectly timed melodies and beautiful lyrics come to us in all sorts of ways and we get to apply them to moments in our lives as though someone is building a soundtrack for us. I just love it.
  7. Coffee. 
  8. Your ideal weather. For me it's 77 degrees and immediately following rain. I love rain, too, now that I'm thinking about it. Sure, weather can be a pain in the butt sometimes, but when it's also kind of amazing. Just picture your perfect day, weather-wise.
  9. Details in architecture. This one comes from my bestbian, Leah. She loves walking around the city with her headphones in and just looking at buildings and trying to notice their unique details. She's the best.
  10. Having a best friend. Many of us can think of our best friend(s). That person is someone who we can call whenever and just vent to. Best friends are the people who like you anyway. They're the best.
  11. Riding trains. I'm sure many of us have different feelings about train travel, but there is something so very classic and, as Leah puts it, "British" about the experience. She and I love British things, so this is in our happy column.
  12. Good television. We are in an age of amazing television right now. Shows that are beautifully written and make us think. This is awesome. I, personally, love great dialogue. Great dialogue is great.
  13. Crawling into a made bed at the end of the day. Oh man, is there anything more relaxing?
  14. Wearing an outfit that you know you look really, really good in. Admit it. You know what outfit this is and it is the thing you feel best about yourself in. Because you are really ridiculously good looking in it and you can do anything in that outfit.
  15. Pajamas. Duh.
  16. Making other people smile. 
  17. Rivers, lakes, and oceans. Bodies of water always seem to make me happy. I don't know why, but they're lovely. I've always really liked that line from Pocahontas where she says "my favorite thing about rivers is that you can't step in the same river twice." That has always made me smile.
  18. I know I said puppies already, but let's just give a shout out to all baby animals. Baby animals are just the best.
  19. Hugs. Good hugs are great. Even if you're not a hugger, somewhere out there is a hug that you love. I believe in that.
  20. When everything is where it should be. I personally hate cleaning, but I love when everything is clean, so I force myself to go through the grueling process of getting it there because I know the reward is worth it.
  21. Checking off everything on your to-do list. I rarely get to do this every day, but man isn't it awesome when it does happen? Yes. Yes it is.
  22. Live shows. In an age of digital everything, there is something even more amazing now about seeing something live. Last night, Fiance and I were lucky enough to see Ben Folds in concert and I'm still on Cloud 9.
  23. Love. This will be my last one, because ultimately, it is the most wonderful thing in the world and it is everywhere. Sometimes we struggle to see it clearly, but at the end of the day, when you're feeling really crappy, I think it's nice to remember that love is out there. Even if you're not feeling it, I think it's nice to know that it's there. It's nice to think about what you love and who loves you in spite of yourself. I think it's nice to love yourself. It's nice to remember that there is a puppy out there who will love you. Love, as a noun and a verb, is something that constantly amazes me. The fact that we are able to love and feel loved is something truly remarkable. Random acts of kindness are random acts of love and if you really sit back and think about it, isn't that just the most lovely thing of all? I think it is.

So that's my list as of this very moment. It's incomplete and constantly changing and being added to, but I invite you to write about what makes you happy in the comments. Tweet at me with happy things using #HappyTweets. Don't let the crappy headlines win. Flood the world with joy whenever possible.

Ready? Go.

Because I love her and she is amazing.

My best friend -- my bestie, my bestbian, my maid of honor, my hero, etc. -- is starting her first real lawyer job tomorrow.

via GIPHY

But wait. It gets better. She is not about to be one of those lawyers that everyone glares at because they're evil or whatever. No. She's gonna be one of those lawyers who actually makes lives better.

"What is she doing?"

Good question.

My bestbian is going to be working for a law firm that defends sexual assault victims. She'll be doing legal research to help win cases against sexual abusers. SHE IS ON THE LIFE-SAVING TEAM, YOU GUYS. SHE IS BASICALLY A SUPERHERO NOW.

So, she starts on Monday and she is so excited and so terrified. This is her first real job after law school and it is undoubtedly going to not be filled with joy and wonder all of the time, but she gets to go home at the end of the day and say "Today I played a part in making someone's life better," and that is amazing and she is amazing and I am so full of love and adoration for this person who has been the Tina Fey to my Amy Poehler for the past ten years. She is my soul mate and I am in awe of her every single day.

So, will you all please just tweet at her and tell her how amazing she is and how incredible she will be at this job? She's nervous. Because she cares. She cares so much and she is the best person for this job and I am so unbelievable proud of her. So here is her twitter handle: @MsLBrady

Flood her phone with messages of love and joy and inspiration! Go forth and virtually high-five her!

I love you, Bestbian.

 

via GIPHY

And then Sherlock taught me that everything is a lie and I can trust no one.

Okay, so if you haven't watched all of Sherlock, you definitely shouldn't read this post. Because a) Spoilers and b) You need to think about your life and your choices. Also c) I've waited long enough now that most of you should have seen this. The point is that I finally finished the latest season of Sherlock and flipped the hell out.

A conversation I had with my best friend, who has decided to use the pseudonym "John Hamm" on this blog for her own reasons, after I watched the final episode of Sherlock:

Me: GAH!!!

Me: No. Fucking. Way.

JH: Yup.

Me: No.

JH: Yes.

Me: No.

JH: You're in denial.

Me: I WATCHED HIM SHOOT HIMSELF.

JH: We all did.

Me: Don't sass me.

JH: I'm not... We're all feeling the same feels.

Me: Does anyone actually ever die in this show?!?!

JH: I have absolutely no idea.

Me: Gaahhhhhhhh

Me: I can't even handle this.

Me: *flips laptop*

JH: Yeah, the next season is gonna be a blast.

Me: They don't even start filming until next year.

Me: Everything is a lie.

JH: Sherlock broke our trust.

Me: Do you realize that if you die, I'm never going to trust that it's true?? I'll just be all "NOPE."

JH: Why am I dying in this scenario? :<

Me: YOU'RE NOT, OBVIOUSLY. GOSH.

http://www.tumblr.com/search/Moriarty+gifs/recent

The Slag and the Hag

A conversation that I had via text with John Hamm this weekend: Me: Do you work tonight?

JH: Nope. Off all day.

Me: Lucky...

JH: Yeah, except for the part where I'm not making any money.

Me: That's what those booty shorts and that street corner are for. ;)

And then she sent me this:

weasley

JH: I'd be all like, "I'm just trying to pay for law school!" and they'd be all like, "Psh, yeah, haven't heard that one before."

Me: And then everyone would be all like, "Why is that hooker crying?" and I'd be like, "The correct question is 'why ISN'T she crying?'"

JH: And then I'd be all like, "SHUT UP, WEASLEY!" and you'd be all like, "THEY HAVEN'T SEEN THAT PICTURE, NO ONE KNOWS WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT." But then they'd be all "Nah, you're a ginger. We get it."

And then I sent her this:

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bV_K4tJNKYI]

JH: And then I'd be like "BUT I DO. I DON'T HAVE ENOUGH MONEY FOR THIS SHIT. GAWD."

Later that same day...

Me: ...Life would be so much more interesting if you were a prostitute.

JH: It's true. All those whacky hijinks we'd get into.

Me: It'd make a great British sit-com.

JH: It'd be called "The Slag and the Hag." Also, not a bad name for a pub.

Me: Truth. ...Wait. Am I the hag?

JH: Uh, yeah. 'Cause I'm the slag.

Me: Yeah, but hag? Like an old hag?

JH: I don't know. It rhymed.

Me: Why not just "Lady and the Tramp"?

JH: 'Cause you ain't a lady.

Me: Am I nothing but a sister?*

JH: Yup. :)

*Bonus points if you get that reference.

And that, Duckies, was my weekend. How was yours?