Gym Drake is my Unicorn: A Sequel

Okay, so the last time I wrote about the gym, we all learned about my obsession with this guy at our gym who looks exactly like Drake. I was pretty excited to go back to the gym tonight, not because I wanted to get buff or anything (seriously, exercise is VERY boring), but because I haven't been able to capture this guy on camera yet and I feel like I owe it to us all to provide photographic evidence of his existence. And alas, we walked in to find that 1) There were more people than usual for this time of day and 2) NONE of those people were Drake.

To say that I was depressed about this fact might seem dramatic, but let's call a spade a spade. I lazily went through my workout. It became pretty clear that Gym Drake holds the power of my motivation.

So after 30 minutes of just meh-ing around, I went and stood by The Mr. While he did things that looked difficult yet physically rewarding, I hopped onto Instagram Stories:

[video poster="" src="" id="2321" loop="true" autoplay="false" preload="metadata" width="640" height="360" videopress_guid=""][/video]


Seriously, everyone, just as I hit "send" on that video, Gym Drake came down the staircase that I was standing next to and rounded the corner into my vision NOT TWO FEET FROM MY FACE.

So, naturally, I spun around frantically in small circles before running after him. Subtly.



I needed that photo.

As luck would have it, he ended up going into the weightlifting room, and The Mr had ALSO gone there. Ignoring the fact that I never saw The Mr leave the room we were previously in, I knew that this. Was. My. Moment.

I walked over to The Mr with the expression you see in the above photo still on my face. He looked at me and sighed before nodding to confirm that yes, he had seen who just arrived and then he gave me a look like "I swear to God Emelie if you get us kicked out of this gym, I will divorce you."

Everything was set up so perfectly, though. The mirrors in the room were perfectly positioned so that I could pretend I was taking a picture of The Mr when I was really just getting a photo of Gym Drake in the background.


And then, just as I was raising my phone to make the capture, Gym Drake suddenly got up and quickly left the room.

It took everything in me not to fall to my knees screaming.




I swear to you that he does exist and that I have seen him MANY TIMES. I'm just pretty sure that he can sense when cameras are around and, like a unicorn, he must avoid them before his existence is revealed, because THE WORLD CANNOT HANDLE THE MAGIC.

Or maybe he's a vampire? And if I tried to photograph him, I would find out, and then he'd have to bite me or kill me, so maybe he's really just thinking of me because he wants me to live. Aw, Gym Drake... you're just the best.



In other news, this month's public episode of #SundaySupdate was last night and it might have been the greatest episode yet? Apparently, cracking eggs is my cooking superpower and my knife skills are "frightening," so... I HAVE SUPERPOWERS! I'm pretty sure that's the takeaway here. Anyway, if you missed it, here is the episode. If you're interested in joining us every week, sign up to be an Awkward Ambassador on Patreon! We have tons of fun.


This blog is able to remain ad-free because of the awesome community of Awkward Ambassadors on Patreon. If you’d like to become an Awkward Ambassador and receive special perks (like exclusive vlogs or messages from my dog), please click here.

I'm probably going to go to jail soon.

I am obsessed with a guy at my gym. Not in like a creepy sexual way, but in just a fascination way, because he looks exactly like Drake.



And I'm pretty sure his name is Jake. At least I think it is. The Mr said he overheard him introduce himself to someone as "Jake," but now that I'm thinking about it, The Mr might just be saying that to mess with me because he knows how obsessed with this guy I've become.

And it's not like I think looking like Drake is a bad thing. I don't even know that much about Drake other than the fact that he dances poorly with great confidence (something we have in common) and that he was on that one show in Canada and also that he was hilarious on SNL, and that a very tiny version of him sits on stuff on the Tonight show, and I think he was dating or is dating Rihanna maybe? Oh my gosh, why do I know so much about Drake?? I can't even name one of his songs... I would love to blame magazines from grocery store checkout lines, but I don't even go to grocery stores because they give me anxiety, so HOW HAS THIS HAPPENED? AM I CHUCK?



Wait, where was I going with this again? Oh right, Drake/Jake at my gym. Or rather, my obsession with Drake/Jake at my gym. There are many issues arising from this situation:

  1. I am bad at creeping on people with any sort of discretion. I blatantly stare and sometimes I make noises without realizing I'm making them and it's all very "that mouth breather from Hey Arnold!"
  2. Because I'm bad at creeping, I get noticed fairly easily, and getting noticed by a guy at the gym for staring at him can only lead to him thinking that I'm crushing on him, which would be very bad considering:
    • This could possibly lead to interacting with a random human at the gym, which is NOT on my list of workout goals. And talking to him could lead to:
      • "Oh I'm not checking you out. I'm just staring at you because you look like you're trying WAY too hard to look like Drake and this fascinates me," which I'm pretty sure is an unacceptable way to say hello?
  3. Restraining orders are inevitable.

All of this explains why I haven't managed to get a photo of Drake/Jake yet, but now that I've written/talked about him so much, I feel like I need to take one so that everyone can see what I'm dealing with. This is the closest I've gotten:

This blog is able to remain ad-free because of the awesome community of Awkward Ambassadors on Patreon. If you’d like to become an Awkward Ambassador and receive special perks (like exclusive vlogs or messages from my dog), please click here.