My Morning Routine is Starting to Get a Little Weird.

So. Apparently this is a terrifying object:20140306-103312.jpg  

Why would I think that? Because this is literally the face I see every morning when the fridge starts to hum:

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It starts off innocently enough. I wake up, zombie walk my way over towards the coffee maker, get that all figured out, and then while that's brewing, I feed Gio.

Gio starts eating his food and is all "NOM, NOM, NOM, BREAKFAST IS GREAT, NOM, NOM, NO-"

And then the slight "Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm......." of the fridge, which is about 2 feet away from Gio's food bowl, starts up.

PANIC ENSUES.

Gio: Stare.

Fridge: Mmmmmm........

Gio: Make eyes bigger. Stare harder.

Fridge: I'm just a fridge. Doing fridge stuff...

Gio: MOM!!!

And that's when he runs out of the room and hides around the corner.

That's when I walk over to the fridge and hug it, while looking at Gio and saying "Gio, it's okay! Fridge nice! Fridge friend! Look how yay the fridge is! Yay, fridge!"

And then Gio is like "Oh thank God the fridge is not attacking Mom. If Mom trusts fridge, I trust fridge."

And then we both eat our breakfast in peace.

Until the next morning when Gio apparently forgets all trust he had for the fridge.

Surprisingly enough, Gio is totally cool with the coffee grinder.

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In other news, there's a new book review up! Check it out and share it all that good stuff! Thanks!

It Wouldn't Be My Life If A Simple Visit to the Vet Didn't Turn Into Something Ridiculous.

Happy Hump Day, Duckies!! Today is about my dog, Gio. You've all met him, right?

Mom. Mom. Mom. Mom. Mom.... Spring is coming!!!!

Anyway, so he was due for his yearly rabies shot and other vaccines to make sure he doesn't turn into some crazy beast and go Hulk on my neighborhood or something. Or so that he doesn't get sick. One of those, but I can never remember.

Anyway... We walk into the exam room for the first time in a year, and Gio immediately runs behind my legs, hiding between me and the wall.

Because he's a big, brave boy.

Me: Oh... so, I should warn you. He's really scared of getting vaccines.

Vet: Okay, that's fine. Does he get aggressive or anything?

Me: No, not at all! He just wiggles around a whole bunch, trying to escape, and then he'll howl like you're snapping his legs off instead of just pricking them with a needle.

Vet (to Gio): Haha, so we've got a drama king on our hands, do we?

Me: Big time.

Vet: Alright, well I'll bring in another vet to help out. No worries.

It took THREE vets to keep my 44-pound dog still. THREE. One vet was bear-hugging him, the other vet was clamping his paws together to keep his legs still, and the third one was supposed to give him the actual vaccinations. Meanwhile, I was sitting in front of him and just constantly telling him that it was going to be okay.

Because this wouldn't be life if a simple visit to the vet didn't turn into something ridiculous.

Anyway, Gio is looking at me with sheer panic in his eyes and I'm all "Calm down! You're fine!" and then he lets out the most blood-chilling howl I've ever heard in my entire life. People in the waiting room probably got nervous about using these doctors.

So, my dog is screaming bloody murder, and I look down at his leg and that's when I realized the most embarrassing thing about this whole situation: The vet was just applying the alcohol swab. The needle hadn't even appeared yet.

I think it's safe to say that the risk of Gio Hulking out on my neighborhood is a pretty low one. Like, if there was a risk scale from 1-10... he'd be at -7.

So, while I'm feverish and achy, my dog never left my side. He also stole and used my tempurpedic pillow for three days.

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In other news, we're getting ready to film Episode 3 of Awkwardly Wonderful Dating Advice and we'd love to hear from some more guys about times when chicks have done some seriously crappy stuff on dates. This whole episode focuses on Female Dating Etiquette. We always hear about when guys are jerks, but we recognize that the female gender is nowhere near perfect (Sorry, ladies, but it's true). Help us fix that!

So for all of you who date women, please send us your crazy stories/questions to awkwardlywonderful@gmail.com

Thanks so much for all your support and views, Duckies! Please keep sharing the show! We are having so much fun doing this!