LET ME LOVE YOU

Galentine’s Day is tomorrow, which is by far my favorite made up holiday*, because not only was it brought to fame by the glorious Amy Poehler on Parks and Rec, but in general it is just a day to celebrate the glory that is a platonic, loving friendship between females. It’s the ultimate chicks before dicks day.



To celebrate I wanted to share possibly the most quintessential examples of pure female friendship awesomeness.

Yesterday I texted a friend who we’ll call “Lane” with some exciting news that I shouldn’t really share here (but I did share it on my Patreon, so if you’re an Awkward Ambassador, you already know.)

Me: *shares exciting news*

Lane: Ahhhhhhhh. Yes yes yes yes. *quotes and confirms great news* And yes you are amazing.

Me: Can you just follow me around and say things like this all the time?

Lane: I am so happy for you and yes I WOULD GLADLY BE YOUR LIFE HYPE WOMAN.

Me: YES.

Lane: You’re killing itttttttt. You have no idea how happy I am right now. I’m like beaming. My friend has given me a few weird looks.

Me: YOU’RE MY HYPE WOMAN, JUST SEND THEM TO A LINK TO MY BLOG AND MAKE THEM LOVE ME.

Lane: I WILLLLLL

I realize that to some of you this might seem like a ridiculous conversation, because it’s just full of caps-lock screams, but to many of us, this is what true love and excitement looks like. I feel like everyone needs a Lane in their lives - or better yet, we all should be a Lane in each other’s lives!

So… what has been happening in your life that you’re excited about? It’s Galentine’s Day (or week? whatever) and I want to celebrate you, my friends (even if you’re not a lady), so leave a comment down below and share your fun news and let me squeel with excitement for you publicly! You know what? I’ll even post about them on my instagram story. BECAUSE FOR THE NEXT 24+ HOURS I AM YOUR LANE!**


*This is a strange term to me because aren’t all holidays made up holidays? Like… none of them are just natural holidays, but we act like some of them are more real than others. THEY’RE ALL JUST DAYS THAT WE CHOOSE TO MAKE SPECIAL DAYS, PEOPLE.

**Unless the thing that you’re excited about is like… that you murdered someone who something. I probably won’t be excited about your murder. Or your murdering? Because “your murder” would be if someone murdered you… which also wouldn’t be great. You know what? Let’s just avoid murder all together.


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Love and Friends and Family and Mawwiage - A Guest Blog Post from Cole Campbell

Hello, friends! Over the next few weeks, I am away for my wedding and honeymoon, so I've invited some of my favorite writers to keep you entertained in my absence! Enjoy!! 


Hello everyone!

My name is Cole and I’m here to do a guest post for Emelie while she’s getting married and gallivanting off to Scotland for her honeymoon with Fiancé/Husband. (I’m not 100% sure where in the line up my post will fall so I’m being purposefully vague with times whether or not you’re reading this before or after she’s actually married. But hey, it kinda makes me feel like I’m in an episode of Doctor Who a wee bit. Yeah, I know that does not actually makes a whole lot of sense but let me have it, okay? Okay.)

ANYWAY!

When Emelie first asked me if I wanted to do a guest post for her I was like, “Sure! Of course! That’s Awesome! I’ll totally do that!” Then we hung up FaceTime, I thought for a short moment and was like, “CRAAAAAAAAAP WHY DID I SAY YES TO THAT?! I WRITE FICTION. I DON’T WRITE ABOUT MYSELF HOW WHAT WHY DO I DO THIIIIIIS?!”

I took some time to calm down.

Later, when I asked Emelie if she had any topic or idea she wanted me to cover, I was much more subtle about my trepidation (I hope). She responded with, essentially, “Lighthearted and fun is good but be yourself and do you!” I was like, “Thanks, that helps!” (Translation: That was not helpful AT ALL). I’m very much ad-libbing this from memory right now but you get the idea. So I started pondering. And I realized that recent events in my life combined with Emelie’s impending/already-happened nuptials mean a very specific topic is rattling pretty consistently around in my brain. And that, dear readers of a blog that is not mine, is Love and Friends, or the Family You Choose.

I mean, it’s not a shocking revelation or idea at all really but friends are just pretty freakin’ awesome, aren’t they? You meet someone and go: You, good person, are just amazing and I want you in my life forever, okay? Sometimes it’s a longer, slow process. Sometimes it’s snap-of-the-fingers quick. Emelie, for instance? She and I were friends for about a month(ish) before she moved out to Connecticut. And yet, despite time and distance we have become even closer. It just clicked. Insta! Done! Boom! Friends for life and there was little choice.

Except, technically, we did have a choice. We could not have skyped regularly, texted and kept in contact. We could have drifted apart and I wouldn’t have gotten excited updates about this guy she met, who became Boyfriend, wouldn’t have gotten an excited FaceTime reveal-of-the-ring when he became Fiancé and wouldn’t be going to/have been at (seriously this not knowing where in time my article is existing is CONFUSING) their wedding to see him become HUSBAND.

We made a choice to be friends. To be Family By Choice. AND THAT IS A TRULY AWESOME THING.

But seriously, though.

You meet certain people and they just stick to you like glue, or tree sap or those little foam packing peanuts, and they help you navigate life day by day whether they are in the same house, same town, or states or oceans away. Maybe they are family by blood, or maybe not. Maybe it was a romantic relationship that became a friendship, because you look at that person and go: The friendship at the heart of all this is too ridiculously valuable to set to the side and this is gonna hurt like nothing else but it’s worth it. Maybe you’ve known each other for more than a decade. Or maybe you just met. Connections between people are really, super-duper weird and random and varied I’ve found.

AND THAT’S WHAT MAKES THEM SO GOOD. LIKE DOGS AND CATS. (Don’t know if that makes any sense at all. It does in my brain).

I guess, basically, what I’m trying to say, (however badly, drawn-outly and incoherently) is to love the people in your life, that Family of Friends. Celebrate them in the every day because that is where they are rooted, in their weirdness, in their flaws, in their strengths and all the reasons you love them unconditionally.

And if they are someone who does the same back, keep them around, okay? So that one day, when you’re old, you can sit on a porch, with a nice breeze wafting by, rocking in your rocking chairs, and crack dirty jokes and trade bad puns because you’re still as awkward, nerdy, awesome and in love with each other as you were in your twenties (or whenever it was you met).

Because I don’t know about you, but that sounds like a pretty amazing future to me.


Cole is a writer and bookseller with a background in theatre based out of northeast Ohio. He (controversially) does not drink coffee but loves tea, hiking, and animals of all kinds. You can read/see what he's up to @colehcampbell (Twitter) and @colehollander (instagram).

 

 


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Graphic User Interfaces for Life.

I've been thinking about the importance of friendships a lot lately. I think that companionship is an extremely important thing to be good at in life, and maybe that's because I'm terrible at being alone. When people ask me what my worst fear is or what I think Hell is, I always respond with "being alone for the rest of my life." That used to be in regards to romance. Some days, it still is, but it's expanded way beyond that recently.

For as long as I can remember, I've had this terrible habit of making my entire life about The Boy. Whatever boy I was in love with at that point in my life, he was all that mattered. I used to think that was something really wonderful about me. I was kind of an idiot. I still can be, but that's not the point.

The thing is, though, that at the end of the day, the most important person in my life thus far has been my best friend, "John Hamm." I met her under really odd circumstances in my basement when I was 14 and we've been through and survived everything life has thrown at us up to this point together. There have been amazing years where we have talked every single day. There was a good year and a half when we didn't talk at all. I still referred to her as my best friend throughout that whole time, and I wish I could say that it was because I knew we would be okay, but I think it was more that I refused to accept that we might not be. (That's an entirely different self-reflection point.) Luckily, we made it through that, too.

 

bestbians2

Our friendship survived - even thrived - throughout college, and when we both lived in Europe. It survived us living together (just barely) and now, it's surviving as we're both settling into our lives in different states. Granted, we're only a few hours away from one another, but she lives a busy city life full of law school, and I live a quiet country life full of bookshops and small town crowds. Our scenes aren't exactly the same anymore.

By many standards, John Hamm and I should have faded away a long time ago. We should have graduated college, found boyfriends or husbands, moved to new places, started new lives, and referred to each other as "My best friend when I was in college." I mean, that's how these things usually go, right?

But we haven't.

See, the thing is that while I was always making my life about The Boy, and when John Hamm was feeling hurt about the fact that I couldn't seem to understand that, she never abandoned me. She put up with my bullshit and even pointed it out to me, because she knows she's the one person who can say that to me, and I'll listen.

Boys have come and gone. Boys will keep coming and going. One day, maybe, a boy might even stick around, and that will be a wonderful day. I still want that, because I'm human and a Jane Austen fan who loves romantic comedies. I'm never going to stop wanting that.

To be honest, though, I'm at a point where now my biggest fear is being without my best friend. Not having a best friend at all.

And John Hamm and I will continue to go through our own hills and valleys with one another. Some months, we'll talk every day and it will be great, but let's face it: We're at the beginning of our adult lives and things will only keep getting more and more insane and busy and full of other people, and maybe one day one of us will get married and have children (human or non-) and things will become even more packed with chaos. Our lives will be all about schedules and deadlines and sticky little fingers covered in mystery substances.

I hope to still call her my best friend throughout all of that. After all, we all need someone to turn to when the boys are driving us nuts and even when they're making us feel wonderful. We need that person to tell us "Hey, look at your priorities. Hit the brakes for a second and just check your route before you make a really wrong turn down a one-way street." I'm actually lucky enough to say that I've got a few of those in my life, which might mean that I'm a little more screwed up than I should be.

I guess what all of this rambling is supposed to say is that friends are important and I hope you all have a "John Hamm." I hope you all have that person in your life to talk to and go through it all with. Romance is really important, and it is a wonderful thing to be cherished and sought after. Best friends, though, are a whole different type of relationship and they take just as much care and passion as romance does.

That's why John Hamm and I make a point to meet for lunch one Sunday a month halfway between our respective cities and spend a whole day together with one another. This past time around, we got to talking about this very subject, and when I got home, I texted her to tell her how much I appreciate her:

Me: <insert long heartfelt speech here about how much I love her>

JH: Haha, thank you. :) I know we're good. I love you too.

Me: Call me whenever, okay?

JH: Ok. Same goes for you.

Me: Thanks. We're forever.

JH: I know. We're GUIs.

JH: Good...

JH: Autocorrect win...

Me: I was about to ask what that meant.

JH: No. I mean it, Emelie. We are graphic user interfaces.

Me: Until the end of time. :)

JH: :)

And I really mean that, Duckies. I really, really mean that.

What Do You Mean My Life Isn't a Sit-Com?

So, I might have a problem... As many of you know, my best friend, John Hamm, has moved away to Boston (excuse me while I go bawl my eyes out in to a glass of wine at 10:00 a.m.).

Obviously, we still talk on the phone all the time, because that's what besties do.

So, yesterday, she was talking to me about meeting up with a new prospective roommate out there, because sad as it may be, John Hamm is currently a homeless law school student (don't worry, she has a friend with a couch for the time being).

Me: So when are you meeting this dude?

JH: I think in about an hour.

Me: I hope he's not a creepy rapist...

JH: Yeah, me too.

Me: Best case scenario, he'll be gay.

JH: Haha, I guess?

Me: Well, then there's absolutely no risk of him being a creepy rapist to you! Plus, everyone knows that a sassy gay roommate is the best thing a girl just starting law school can ask for. You guys will be like the new Will & Grace, except YOU'LL be the lawyer and HE'LL be the gay one.

JH: And we're not in a sit-com.

Me: ...what are you talking about? We've always led sit-com lives. You're the Ellie to my Jules in Cougartown. You're the Jordan to my Elliot in Scrubs. You're the Cece to my Jess in New Girl. The only one we've never really been able to nail down is our "Friends" personas.

JH: No, Emelie... that's the only one YOU'VE never been able to nail down. YOU'VE been living in a sit-com your whole life.

Me: ...It's like I don't even know you anymore. This is just like that time when Joey started acting all womanly and weirding Chandler out...

JH: ::sigh:: ... Yeah. Just like that.

So many questions...

So Gumby is currently in Indiana, interviewing to get into Vet School, because he's smart and can apparently do whatever the heck he puts his mind to. He drove out there from Columbus, Ohio and got a hotel so that he could spend time checking out the campus and participating in other prospective student events. Honestly, I'm not really sure what he was doing because I have poor listening skills. Last night, he sent John Hamm and I this message from his hotel room:

Gumby: So far Indiana is weird... between the Chris Angel look-alike masturbating in the gas station, the one-eyed man who checked into the hotel at the same time as me, and the strange looks the front desk worker gave me when I walked to my room with a large pizza.

Me: I don't know which topic I want to know about more...

John Hamm: You should definitely go to school there.

I love my friends.