What Happens When I Promote Myself In New York City.

Hello Duckies! So, while I was in NYC being an adult of some type and making business connections within other bookish folks, I found myself having many versions of this conversation:

Boss: Emelie! I want you to meet So-and-So. S/he owns Such-and-Such Bookshop in Someplace, Somwhere.

Me: Oh, hi! I'm Emelie!

Boss: Emelie is my social media goddess.

Me: *Shuffles feet* Ha, yup! That's me. I do know the interwebs...

This would eventually lead to that person asking me what else I do, which is when I would tell them that I also write a blog, and my boss would be all "Emelie's blog is hilarious!" and I would silently think to myself "Buy this woman something awesome, because she's making me sound way more impressive than I am..." and then I would have to tell people all about my blog.

So, inevitably I would lead with "Yeah, I'm a really awkward and embarrassing person, so I write about it..." and then they would ask "Oh really? What's one of your favorite stories?" and I would just respond with "Oh, definitely the time my mom asked me for assless chaps for Christmas. That was a weird moment in my life." This would either get a laugh or the other person would choose to take their chance to pretend someone else had just called their name. I don't blame them.

Surprisingly, most people stuck around to hear more, though. One guy ended up finding out about my quest to get Jay-Z the Giant Metal Chicken and he was totally on board, which was awesome, since this guy is in his forties and somewhat of a professional person.

Me: Let me find you a picture of this chicken so that you will understand.

giantchicken

Guy: That is one hell of a giant chicken.

Me: I know! I must own him.

Guy: Oh, absolutely. How much does he cost?

Me: Well, the lady that has him at her store keeps telling me he's not for sale. I'm planning to stage a sit-in type of protest. I'll just sit on him until she agrees to sell him to me.

Guy: Oh, you could totally put a saddle on that thing and ride it around.

Me: Right?!? You totally get this.

He then started plotting with me to obtain Jay-Z, and it was awesome. So, I have plans again, duckies, I will keep you posted as they develop. The point is: I'm totally going to get Jay-Z the Giant Chicken and no one can stop me, thanks to this random guy at the dinner part in New York.

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Speaking of books...

As some (maybe none?) of you might have noticed, I got rid of the Book Reviews portion of this blog.

DON'T PANIC. I'll probably be bringing it back in some fashion or another... I might even just start a separate blog for book reviews. I don't know yet. My thoughts aren't fully formed on the subject.

Yes, I will keep reading. I didn't stop reviewing because I'm finally coming out as illiterate, so don't start sending me charitable donations of Hooked on Phonics or anything.

An Update On the Giant Chicken

Okay, so, my Duckies, it turns out that the giant chicken, whom I have lovingly named Jay-Z (it only makes sense since Jenny Lawson's Chicken is named Beyonce), is..... wait for it..... not for sale. :( giantchicken

The lady who owned the chicken at this thrift shop, however, did inform me that she acquired Jay-Z from a man about 5 hours away. And that she payed almost $400 for him... IF ONLY I HAD $400 DOLLARS!!!!

So then I got thinking... If I were to launch a kickstarter in order to acquire Jay-Z, would you donate? My thought is that he can live in my backyard and keep birds from flying into my window... not to mention, he can totally be supportive when I'm sad... or he'd be awesome to take Christmas photos with... I could even try to put him on wheels and have Gio pull us around town. The possibilities are endless, people.

Who's with me??