Current Obsession: A Pregnant Giraffe -- Also new project and I need your help.

Okay, so I'm totally obsessed with this pregnant giraffe, April, right now. I've discussed my love for giraffes before on this blog. We have a lot in common: we're both tall and gangly, we make goofy faces, and people are generally always happy to see us. Okay, maybe just the giraffes on that last one, but a girl can dream! I logged onto YouTube last night and usually I just head straight to my subscriptions and don't even look at the "top things that people are watching now and you should too" but then I saw a giraffe in one of the thumbnails.

It's a livestream and she's pregnant and she could give birth AT ANY MOMENT and I cannot stop watching! Last night, while Fiance was trying to fall asleep next to me, I just kept staring at the screen and whispering things to him like "Oh my god, Fiance, you can see the baby moving around in her belly!" or "Oh my god, Fiance, look!!! She's eating." ... "Fiance, I can't stop watching, SHE COULD BE IN LABOR ANY MINUTE NOW!"

It's possible that last one was more of a shout. I'm pretty sure Fiance finds my voice to be a soothing lullaby, so he probably loved it.

Eventually I did fall asleep and when I woke up in a panic that I had missed the birth, it turns out that April was still just standing around being pregnant. That's when I noticed that the video started streaming on February 24th, so... this could be a while. But in the meantime you can read terrifying statistics about giraffe births like this one: A baby giraffe is approximately 150 pounds and six feet tall when it is born. That is literally the size of me. THAT BABY IS ME-SIZED.

Anyway, all of this long-winded rambling is leading up to this: I've been thinking about doing a thing and it has to do with giraffes. Giraffes were just recently classified as a threatened species. There are less than 100,000 of them left in Africa, and that number has dropped by 40% in the past two decades alone. And I want to help. And I want you to help. Because have you ever been sad when you see a giraffe? No.

So, this brings me to my next point: I crochet a lot and I've been working on making crocheted giraffes and I want you to have them. I'll have photos soon, but I want to get the ball rolling here. Here's how it works: If you make a donation to the Giraffe Conservation Foundation and send me a screenshot proving that you've done so, I will send you a crocheted giraffe.

Because there is about to be a new giraffe baby in our world, and he or she needs friends, you guys. So what do you say? Are you with me? I don't care how much you donate. Just do what you can. And maybe spread the word and share this post, too?

Thanks, loves.


By Writing This, I've Sealed My Doom. At Least Verbally. There's Still Room for a Violent Death in There Somewhere, I'm Sure.

Happy Friday, Duckies!! Thank you so much for all of your birthday well-wishes! It was a super wonderful day and now I feel much older and wiser. Twenty-three is totally the age where true wisdom happens, right?

Anyway, I got to talking with my best friend, John Hamm, about words that we hate. Like... words that make us cringe and that I full-heartedly believe should be removed from the the English language, or at least outlawed, because they're just awful.

"What are these words?"

I thought you'd never ask! Allow me to share my least favorite words in the entire world with you!

Moist - Ew. Just gross. Everything about this word makes me have the chills. Even writing about it, I have the urge to throw up and punch teenage boys at the same time. Even when I'm in the grocery store and I'm in the cake aisle and all the mixes are like "SUPER MOIST!" I just end up standing in the aisle, by myself, pointing at the cake box and screaming "EWWWW!!! WHY?!?!" So... that word has essentially ruined my chances of finding love at the market, which is sad. It should definitely be eliminated.

Panties - Why does this word exist? I've never ever referred to my lady-like undergarments as "panties." Something about it just sounds so sissy to me. It's underwear, you jerks. If you want it to sound sexy, call it lingerie. Panties is a cross between vulgar and childish and those two things should just NEVER be crossed.

Side note: You'll get a super angry vomit combo from me when you use the above two words together.

Lovers - I don't know why, but this word is just weird to me. I feel like it should be reserved for only rich mistresses to use when talking about their latest affair. It conjures up images of Hugh Hefner, botox, and old cleavage. You're welcome.

Necking - I heard someone use this term the other day and all I could picture was this:

Or when I force myself to think about it with humans, I just picture two adults literally rubbing their necks together, which is just weird.

Okay, so I realize that there is a theme with my list, but it started with moist and then one thing led to another and we were at necking, and now I feel kind of weird all over.... in a very uncomfortable way. I think that if someone wanted to have their awkward revenge on me, they could just slip these four words into one sentence and watch me explode with agony.

I've just sealed my doom.

What are your least favorite words?

What's Your Spirit Animal?

I was asked this question earlier last week. I thought about it and came to this conclusion: Me: Either a moose or a giraffe. I'm so gangly.

Friend: Hm... but it's not just physical.

Me: No, I know. Have you ever seen a giraffe? They're so awkward.

Friend: So, are you saying you look like this when you drink?


Me: ...Yes. Taking me out to bars is really awkward for everyone involved. I use a lot of straws.

Friend: Interesting.


In other news, Happy Pi Day, everyone!! Don't know how to celebrate? Here are my suggestions:

  • Bake a pie.
  • Eat a pie.
  • Do some math. (terrible suggestion)
  • Go see Life of Pi
  • Read the book Life of Pi
  • Throw at a pie at someone else.
  • Do absolutely nothing having to do with Cow Pies.
  • Have a pie eating contest.
  • Have a pie naming contest. (As in, think of all the different kind of pies you can).
  • Wear togas while doing all these things because Pi is a greek letter.

What are you doing to celebrate Pi Day? What is your spirit animal?