Let's all stop wearing pants together.

So I love data and I love looking over my blog's analytics to see where all of you, my lovely readers, are coming from. Did you find me from another blog? Do you follow me on Instagram and click on the link in my bio? Or did you google something that led you here? 

That last one is my favorite. I love looking at the google searches that bring people to Awkwardly Alive. You want to know the top search? The number one thing that people look up on google that eventually brings them to us? 

"No more pants"

Apparently, if you search for "no more pants" on google, a blog post I wrote back in 2016 titled "That's It. NO MORE PANTS." comes up, AND I AM FASCINATED. 

I have so many questions!

1. Who googles "no more pants?" Are you looking for pants alternatives? Did you really need to google this to find out what a skirt or kilt is? 


2. Are 90% of my readers anti-pants? Because I can cater to this. 

3. Are you all not wearing pants right now while you read this?

4. Are there support groups for people like us? Could this blog be that safe space for the pantsless?


It also just dawned on me that "pants" in the UK means "underwear" and "pants" in the US means "trousers" so.... now there's a entirely different can of worms I've just unveiled for myself. 

Whatever. I'm glad you're here. 

I also want to say one more quick thank you to everyone who reached out about Gio's diagnosis. For those of you who may not know, I posted a lot about this on Instagram, but my dog Gio was diagnosed with liver disease yesterday and while dogs are "just dogs" to some people (aka weirdos with cold, dead hearts), my dogs are part of my soul and knowing that we have less time with Gio than we originally thought has been a tough pill to swallow, but the dust has settled and I'm doing much better than I was before. We've ordered the new food for him and we've felt so loved and supported by our online community. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I will keep you all informed as things progress. 

Things I loved on the Internet this Week:

This song by clipping (Daveed Diggs, anyone?) is amazing. I heard it on a very old episode This American Life episode about Afrofuturism and it's incredible on so many levels. 

What's Worse: That People Googled This Stuff or That It Brought Them Here?

Happy Friday, readers!! (I really wish we could figure out a new name for you guys..."readers" is just so dull and generic...) Anyway, Spring is finally in the air and I cannot wait to go outside!!

So today, I am going to steal a thing from some of my other blog friends and show you the funniest google searches that have led unsuspecting people to my blog. This is mainly because I can't think of anything to write today and because when I was working on my blog at the bar yesterday (don't judge), my friends and I decided to check these out and we couldn't stop laughing. So, without further ado, here they are...

  • Sweden Perverse
  • Is Anderson Cooper Swedish?
  • Does Anderson Cooper drink wine?
  • Why is December 2012 a peculiar month?
  • Dear awkwardly public diary
  • Someone broke into my house
  • Assless chaps embarrassing
  • Cemetery snow zombies
  • Jon Hamm cookie cutter
  • oh yes oh yes oh my gosh in reason it saying and doing the gio yeah gosh
  • My dog is a zombie
  • John Hamm's package

So... Which one is your favorite?