A Very Merry Christmas Indeed – Especially for My Mom…

So I'm back from the Christmas insanity! Sort of. The family is still in town and much of my day consists of "having a conversation" with my one-year-old nephew who knows the word "Da." I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas. We certainly did! Here are just some of the highlights:

Dragon joined us for the first time, got a lot of sweaters and a pipe.

And Dragon got me some dresses and this stuff:

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He has real alpaca fur!

card

I made a hat for my sister, but it turned out to be way too small. She looked like a smurf. I wish I had a picture of this, but I don't. Sorry.

And, of course...

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photo

Yeah, I thought you would all appreciate that. After all of you reacted so wonderfully to mine and my mother's little conversation, Dragon and I could not resist buying these for her. She owes you all a major thank you!

Now we are all sitting around and waiting for the apparent "snowpocalypse" that is supposed to come, but there is nothing. According to The Weather Channel, we have a Winter Storm Warning as of 7AM and we're supposed to get 8-12 inches today. I have yet to see a single flake. I am pissed. My plans were to sled until I couldn't breathe before going to work. Now it looks like I'll just have to go to work. Disappointed. Way to fail, Weather People. Way to freaking fail.

UPDATE: It just started snowing like crazy. I take that back, Weather People. You guys rock.

So yeah, other than that, life is good. Sorry for my extreme absence these past few days, but I'm sure you understand and you'll forgive me. Right? Yeah, I thought so.

So... tell me about your Christmas!

Don't all Mothers Have "Unintentionally" Perverse Cookie Cutters?

So, today is a Swedish Christmas Holiday. December 13th is St. Lucia Day. In honor of this holiday, I got together with my mom to bake a bunch of Swedish Christmas cookies and saffron bread (St Lucia Buns!)  Now, as many of you may remember, my mother is anything but normal... or prude.

Which explains why she has cookie cutters of Santa that look like this:

She says it's supposed to be the trim of his coat. I say it looks like Santa shouldn't be around children. Same diff.

Yup. I literally made about 35 of those creepy little Santa freaks and I am not proud. (Okay, I kind of am proud due to the comedy gold that I was finding in it, but morally I am not proud!) So, I was also extra careful when spacing them out on the cookie sheet.

Mom: Emelie, you can put them closer together than that!

Me: Mother, we do not need these things looking any more inappropriate than the already do. I think some distance is mandatory. If I could give them each their own cookie sheet, I would.

Mom: Oh, Emelie. Stop being gross!

Me: Me?!?? I'm the one being gross??? I'm sorry, but someone was clearly not thinking in the cookie cutter factory that day. I'm just saying.

To back up my point, I sent that photo to John Hamm, Gumby, and Apollo

John Hamm: What the hell?

Gumby: I don't even know how that looks like Santa!!

Me: Welcome to life with my mother. Nothing is sacred.

I suspect that Apollo was too ashamed or embarrassed to reply. He is probably cursing me for having ruined the sanctity of Christmas or something. He is such a stickler.