The Guy Was Probably Just Impressed with/Jealous of My Old Lady Impression.

Good morning, Duckies!! So yesterday at work, I had a very strange series of conversations...

Phone rings

Me: Thank you for calling The Book Shop! This is Emelie.

Older Woman: Yes, Hi! Is Michael there?

Me: Oh, I'm sorry. He doesn't work here anymore.

OW: I'm sorry?

Me: He no longer works here. He quit about a year ago.

OW: But... he just called me this morning to tell me that my book is in...

Me: He did?

OW: Yes! And I thought it was odd because I picked that book up weeks ago...

Me: Was it a voicemail?

OW: No.

Me: You actually spoke to him?

OW: Yes! We spoke this morning!

Me: Hm... well this is a mystery.

So, I took down her information and confirmed that she did, in fact, pick up the book in question a few weeks ago. I told her that I'd call her back if I found anything out, but otherwise, to just pretend like this whole thing never happened, which she was more than happy to do.

Me: Was Michael here this morning?

My Boss: No...

Me: You're sure?

Boss: Yes...

Me: He didn't come in to pick up a book and then... just started working? He does that, you know.

Boss: Yeah, he does do that... but I never saw him this morning.

Me: This is so weird! It's like that ghost story where the guy meets a girl and they go out on a lovely date, and then after he drives her home, he realizes that she left her sweater in his car. Being the gentleman that he is he drives back to go return the sweater, right?

My boss was staring at me with... perplexity at this moment.

Me: But then, when he gets to her house, he knocks on the door and this old lady answers. The guy is all "Hi! Is Betsy here?" and the old lady goes - and this is when I did my best old lady voice - "Betsy's been dead for ten years!" ...DUN DUN DUNNNN!!!!

At this point, my boss was cracking up and staring... past me... so then I turned around and realized that there was an elderly man standing right behind me. He had been looking through our bestsellers, but he was very clearly having a hard time keeping it together after listening to the crazy bookseller imitate old ladies in ghost stories...

So... I politely asked if I could help him find anything, which he politely refused. So I ran away to another part of the store.

Fortunately, I made my boss's day with all of that, so points for me, right? Yay!

 

In other news... 

I've auditioned for Blogger Idol! I know. This is so exciting! Hopefully I'll make it into the final 12 and then you'll all totally vote for me, right?

...right?

RIGHT??

Okay, good. :)

Anyway, this morning is not only awesome because of the audition, but it's also awesome because I woke up to a tweet informing me that I'm on "Where Bloggers Blog!"  You should totally go check out this blog if you haven't already. I often go to it when I'm daydreaming about having a real desk in a real writing studio instead of this:

photo

It's probably one of the coolest tumblrs I've seen in a really long time.

Anyway, have a wonderful weekend, Duckies!! See you on Monday!

My House is Growing Money!

So last night I came home from work and as I opened my front door, a neatly folded dollar bill fluttered out from between the door and its frame. At first it freaked me the hell out. I thought it was some sort of trapped moth or freakishly huge flying bug. No. It was money.

I looked around suspiciously before picking it up and walking inside. Who the hell put that there?

Dragon was at work.

John Hamm was at her home, which is forty-five minutes away and who drives that far just to put a dollar bill in my door?

There is only one answer.

The doggy manicurist strikes again!!

If you don't remember that story, click here to read it, because that shit was crazy.

I wonder if they felt bad... and now they're trying to apologize via small amounts of money.

Is there more coming?

WHO IS DOING THIS TO ME AND WHY?!

I mean, don't get me wrong, having a strange little gift-giving manicurist lurking around is kind of fun, as long as it's not in that Season 1 of Dexter kind of way. I mean, I don't want to find out that I have a creepy serial killer hanging out, even if he is paying me and making Gio awkwardly beautiful (as if he needs help).

I will spend this dollar carefully. Don't worry, whoever you are, it will not just be thrown away at some drive-thru. No, no. I don't know what to spend it on yet, but I'm sure you'll let me know...