So last night we went to go see The Scorch Trials (which was delightful and I highly recommend. Unless - Spoiler alert - if you didn't read the books, which you should - Zombies give you nightmares, because if that's the case, you might not be in for the most enjoyable experience.) and to say that it was an intense experience would be underselling it. Especially if you were sitting next to me. I do not watch movies calmly. In fact, I tend to treat all film experiences as interactive. Especially when things get violent. Boyfriend, apparently, finds this incredibly entertaining because at one point in the movie, there was a zombie way too close to the good guys and I was all "Punch him in the face!" and then I made some fists and tried to demonstrate to the actors how one would punch said zombie in the face at which point Boyfriend laughed with some surprise. I assumed this was because he had never seen this level of aggression from me until we got out of the movie.
Boyfriend: I need to teach you how to throw a punch.
Me: What do you mean? I can totally punch! *Aggressively starts punching through the air as we walk to our car*
Boyfriend: You punch like... a boxing nun - or how I imagine Tigger would punch.
Me: What? Is this why you were laughing at me?
Boyfriend: Why did you think I was laughing at you?
Me: I just figured you were taken aback by my toughness.
Boyfriend: No dear... I was laughing because your attempt at being tough was absolutely adorable.
Me: Well... crap. That's not what I was going for at all...
But here's the thing... I disagree completely because if I ever found myself in a fight, everyone would expect the normal punch, right? They'd be all "jab-jab!" and then here I come with my weird bicycle-pedal-fist swings that just confuse the shit out of everyone and THAT is how I knock 'em out.
Basically I'm so good at punching that my skills are unrecognizable. Like a ninja.