An Oldie, but a Goodie, because #TBT... and my mom.

The great thing about me posting on Thursdays is that whenever I don't have the time, I can just be all "THROWBACK THURSDAY, BITCHES!" and then all of you, my Duckies, are just like "Yay!! Trending social media topics!! I love them!!" In reality, I don't have the day off today, and so I'm scrambling to throw even these few sentences together before I go to work, but I wanted to get something posted because I'm leaving for BlogU tomorrow and I'm going to be meeting all sorts of new people who also blog and I figured that they should have a chance to get to know me (or my mother) a little bit better before we meet face to face.

So... I'm going with an oldie, but a goodie, because everyone loves stories about my mom and this was her debut into the blogosphere.

Quick side note: When I originally posted this, my mom was all "OMG, I'M FAMOUS!!" and then she emailed it to her entire office and they were all "EMELIE SHOULD SEND THIS INTO ELLEN!" and that's when I knew that I really was in Suburbia... because only middle-aged white housewives would immediately start begging me to submit my stuff to Ellen Degeneres.

Anyway... on to the Blog Post...

And My Mother Makes Her Debut... with Assless Chaps.

I have a strange life problem. Well... it's really a blessing and a curse.

I have a hot mom.

Don't get me wrong, 99% of the time, it freaking rocks to know that my parents are still so young looking. It bodes well for my own future. It's the other 1% I try and block out.

Let me explain:

My mom is in her mid-fifties and she looks like she's... well... much younger. Mind you, she has had no cosmetic surgery, the woman just teaches six aerobics classes a week, three of which are at 5:45 in the morning, and then she goes and rides her horse for at least an hour almost every day. Throw in the fact that we're 100% Swedish and you've got yourself one hot mamma. Needless to say, this woman can kick my ass. She's awesome.

She is also wonderfully weird.

We were sitting around the other day and having coffee, and the subject of Christmas came up.

Mom: Oh! If anyone is stuck on what to get me for Christmas, go to [insert big country horse supply store here]! They have so many awesome things!

Me: Okay, like what? Keep in mind that I'm poor.

Mom: Well, they even have horse treats.

Me: Mom... I'm not going to buy you a bag of horse treats for Christmas!

Mom: Well, I'll use them!

Me: Okay.. is there something that's in between horse treats and like... a new saddle?

Mom: Oh, I wouldn't ask you for a saddle. Oh, but you know what, they do have these awesome leather chaps that have fringe going all the way down the sides.

Me: As in... assless chaps?

Mom: Well, yeah, Emelie. All chaps are assless.

Me: I am not buying my mother anything that can be described as assless.

Mom: Why? I think they're cool!

Me: Let's change the subject please. How did your burlesque aerobics class go? I admit that this might not have been the best subject change, but this is how we talk, people.

Mom: Oh, it was so much fun! We had feather boas and everything, it was great. Oh, except my friend was sick and she was so upset that she couldn't be there.

Me: Oh, that sucks! She would have had fun.

Mom: I know, and she was supposed to make "penises in a blanket" so then we ended up not having any "penises in a blanket" :(

Me: Mom... I think it's about time I write about you in my blog.

Mom: Really? Why?

Me: Because I love you. And someone needs to start writing down the things that you say.

I'm not kidding, though. I truly do love my mom, and I rarely pass up the opportunity to hang out with her nowadays. I honestly hope that I'm as badass and free-spirited as she is for the rest of my life. She freaking rocks.

This also means I'm going to have to start working out, though...

I love you, Mom!

And yes... I did buy her the chaps.

Problem? I Don't Have a Problem.

This is what part of my kitchen looks like: COFFEEEEEEEEEEE

Let me explain: The French Press and the regular drip coffee maker are both originally mine. As in, I obtained them on my own because I needed wanted them. Everything else? Those were gifts from various people.

My friend's mom called me a week before I moved out to Connecticut and told me that she had been cleaning out the attic and found some stuff I might want. When I got there to look at the "stuff" I found the espresso machine, and upon that espresso machine was a sticky note with my name on it. It would have been rude at that point to not take it.

Then a few days later, I went out for one last goodbye dinner with another friend of mine. When I got to the restaurant, she was sitting there with a giant gift bag on the seat next to her.

"What was inside," you ask? The Keurig. Again, what kind of friend would I be to not accept such a thoughtful gift?

So... fast-forward to Christmas: the grinder appears in my life. That glorious baby has 18 different settings so that I can now grind whatever coffee beans I like to suit whichever coffeemaker I so choose to use that morning. It's like absolute bliss for me. I also got various bags of coffee beans which are now happily residing in my freezer, awaiting the day that I say, "Congratulations! You get to fuel me for the next few days! You have been chosen!" In my head, I picture the bags of coffee all reacting like those aliens in Toy Story. You know the ones: they're all stuck in the claw machine and they go "Ooooooo," and it's super adorable yet kind of terrifying. Yeah, that's my coffee.

I know what you're thinking: Wow. Emelie must really like coffee.

You're right. I do. I practically worship the stuff. Some people say I have a "problem" or an "addiction," but I know they're all just joking around, because there hasn't been an intervention yet, and interventions are, like, really in right now, you guys.

Not to mention, if people really thought it was a problem they wouldn't be enabling me, right? I mean, who gives a crack addict a pipe for Christmas? Let's be honest.

Plus, studies* show that 2 cups of coffee a day is really good for you, and by my logic, that must mean that 8 to 10 cups of coffee a day is REALLY good for you.

Basically, I'm just super health-conscious.

Also, feel free to send me coffee.

*I can't think of specific studies right now, but I know they're out there. 

Do You Guys Think There Are Gardening Gangs? I Think There Are Gardening Gangs.

Happy Monday, Duckies!! So.... I have news.

I'm moving!! I'm leaving Suburbia, Ohio and heading off to "Stars Hollow" in Connecticut to fulfill my dream of becoming a Gilmore Girl! Now the only thing holding me back is that I didn't get pregnant when I was 16 and I'm not working in an inn, but still. One step closer.

But seriously.... I'm moving to the town that was the inspiration for Stars Hollow.... so that's pretty damn awesome.

Stars_Hollow_sign

 

So, I don't move until the end of October, but I'm already getting a little nostalgic... like... I wonder what the police blotters will be like in Stars Hollow. I hope they're as good as they are in Suburbia....

Shrubs Stolen

A Suburbia Lane resident said Sept. 22nd that someone removed several shrubs from their yard overnight.

I'm so thankful I'm leaving this crime-infested area, you guys. The stress and terror that Gio and I have been under from being constantly worried that there is someone around every corner just waiting with some hedge-clippers or shovels... to sabotage my yard!!!

Oh, the horror!