Thanks a lot, weird genetics.

I'm twenty-five, but if you were to just look at the state of my  hips and back, you'd think I was decades older. I have a lot of strange issues with my skeleton, most of which are caused by the fact that I have a very acute form of spina bifida. Don't worry, it's so mild that it isn't life-threatening or anything, but it does come with its own issues. Essentially, I have an extra vertebrae in my spine, and my tailbone never really... happened. I guess when I was still in my mom's womb, my tailbone was all "NO! I'M NOT READY! I WANT TO BE MORE LIKE THE REST OF THE SPINE!" and then the rest of my spine was like "Dude, if you don't do what you're supposed to do, this girl is going to be born with a tail. IS THAT WHAT WE WANT, REGGIE?" The end result? A sort of half-formed tail bone... thing. It's not noticeable in any way, unless you're looking at my x-rays, but it's a thing that sometimes causes problems.

For example, I woke up the other day and my hip felt like someone just popped it out of the socket and now it's refusing to go back in. And, because I know that whole song about all the bones being connected, there is shooting pain and discomfort up and down the whole left side of my body... which results in people staring at me when I think I'm alone as I try and bend my body into all sorts of weird positions to hopefully put my hip back in its rightful place. And this is a small town. People talk. So now I'm that girl.

And my hip decided to do this at a really not awesome time, you guys. As many of you know, I work in a bookshop, and yesterday was Independent Bookstore Day. Indie bookshops across the country, including this one, were celebrating with tons of festivities. I planned many of our festivities, and one of those festivities was a Rad American Women Dance Party. This was because one of the exclusive merchandise items was a 7-inch LP inspired by the book, Rad American Women A-Z, which is an awesome book, and I suggest you rush to your local indie bookshop and buy it right now.

So yeah. I was doing my best on this very busy shopping day to not show how much pain I was in, all the while knowing that the grand finale would be a dance party, and that I was to be pioneering this dance party, so I was really going to have to shake it.

Oh, and did I mention that I had no pain meds with me?

Let's just soak this all in.

  1. Spina bifida.
  2. Rebellious hip bone.
  3. Terrible back pain.
  4. No meds.

I was about to panic for a moment, so I went into the back room to take a deep breath and to try and stretch my back and then I took to twitter:

And all I really got in response was some nonsense about wildebeests that I'm still trying to make sense of... so twitter kind of failed me on that one. I think. I'm still not sure.

And then the time came, and - I kid you not, folks - no one showed up for this dance party. There were a few stragglers in the store, yes, but they were all very disturbed when I told them what was about to happen.

But you know what? I blasted Cyndi Lauper's Girls Just Wanna Have Fun and danced anyway. Because life is short.

Plus I was also hoping that if I danced, maybe I would move a certain way to pop my hip back into place.

This Superpower is USELESS.

So a really great thing happened to me today. I woke up and was all "Today is gonna be great!"

I made myself a full pot of coffee (duh) and some eggs and toast. I was all "Look at me go! Productivity! Real food!" I was totally ready for a day of writing blog posts and editing youtube videos for Page Break. This was going to be a great day.

The plan basically went like this:

  1. Wake up whenever your body decides to because today is your day off and you don't need alarms!
  2. Take Gio outside to pee and play.
  3. Make coffee and a real breakfast! Yeah!
  4. Have a skype date.
  5. Start laundry.
  6. Write a blog post.
  7. Edit Page Break video and post it to YouTube.
  8. Read so many books or finish season 2 of Orange is the New Black, depending on your mood.
  9. Go to a party for writers at the library! Wooo!!!

Talk about a great day, am I right?

I was doing so well, you guys. Everything was going according to plan. Until right after the skype date.

First it started with a slight headache, which then turned into a major migraine, and this baby did not show up alone. It brought along its friends, Nausea and Dizziness, to come and play!

Now, don't get me wrong, I'm all for a party, but this was not on my list. I like to stick to my lists.

To make matters worse, Fever decided to show up about an hour later. I guess his friends texted him and were all "Emelie's head is so much fun! Come play!!" and he was all "No way! I love that place! I'll be there as soon as I'm done with this game of tag at a child's birthday party!" (Side note: Fever sounds like a real friggin' creeper, doesn't he?)

Why did this happen, you ask? Well, it's pretty simple really: I have this issue with my spine: I was born with 1.5 extra vertebrae. When the doctor told me about this, I was all "I knew it. I'm a super hero. Where's the nearest major crime scene? I shall save EVERYONE."

Turns out it's a lot less awesome then one would think. Most days it just means that I have to concentrate on my posture a little more and that if I don't do my yoga, I'll regret it only slightly. I should also be seeing a chiropractor on a regular basis, but I haven't looked for one found one out here yet.

The really terrible part comes on days like today: Rainy days. Not all rainy days. Thunderstorms have no effect on me, which is great because I love thunderstorms. It's the days when rain is just kind of hanging in the air. Those overcast days where you're just like "WOULD YOU JUST RAIN ALREADY?!" Those days make my spine freak the heck out and then everything tenses up and it all concentrates on the right side of my neck and shoulder, which then disturbs this one nerve that runs from the base of your skull to right behind your eye and that's where the migraine feels most comfy. I don't know, maybe it's the spot in my head with the best view or the best couch or something. All I know is that it's like seven different ways of terrible.

So, because of this slight interruption in my day, my list was revised and looks like this:

  1. Untitled design (2)Wake up whenever your body decides to because today is your day off and you don't need alarms! (check!)
  2. Take Gio outside to pee and play. (check!)
  3. Make coffee and a real breakfast! Yeah! (check!)
  4. Have a skype date. (check!)
  5. Start laundry. Get hit by a bus full of awful.
  6. Write a blog post. Spend some time shakily going from your bed to the bathroom, praying that you don't puke everywhere.
  7. Edit Page Break video and post it YouTube. Be unable to swallow any pain meds without them coming back up.
  8. Read so many books or finish season 2 of Orange is the New Black, depending on your mood.  Vow to destroy every vehicle that drives SO EFFING LOUDLY PAST YOUR HOUSE.
  9. Go to a party for writers at the library! Wooo!!!  Finally stomach some Advil and water and fall asleep for some amount of hours, which probably could have been half an Orange is the New Black marathon.
  10. Wake up and find that Migraine thinks naps are lame, so he left, but he also took all my food and energy. That douche.

So yeah... that's when I decided to pull out my laptop and finally manage to stare at a bright screen again (with the brightness down to the lowest level possible without blacking it out completely) so that I could write to you all. Because getting this post up is more important than soup.

That and I have no soup.

UPDATE: I finished writing this blog post and was about to start proofreading when the dog puked behind the couch. I don't know if sympathy puking is a thing, but if it is, he's kind of the best and the worst.