Here’s Looking at You, Canoe.

There are a lot of things that I love about the town I live in, but one of my favorites (and I would argue our biggest claim to fame) is that we are the town that was the inspiration for Stars Hollow, the quaint and idyllic setting of the show Gilmore Girls. In truth, the town doesn’t really look that much like Stars Hollow, but it is tiny and adorable, and everyone knows each other. There are quirky and endearing characters who drive each other crazy over the smallest of things, and yes, we have festivals. Maybe not a festival for every month of the year, but we do have festivals.

In the winter time, we have “Holiday in the Depot”, with horse drawn carriage rides, carol singers, and Santa. In the fall we have “The Harvest Festival” during which there is a scarecrow building competition. This year, we had our first ever “Community Block Party,” to kick off the Summer season, and it was delightful. It also turned out to be the event during which I had my most Stars Hollow experience ever.

I spent the day of the Community Block Party working at the bookshop, and then when I got off of work, The Mr and I walked around the town with our dogs, enjoying free ice cream and performances from local musicians before stopping and hanging out at our church’s tent where we gave out free hugs (the dogs were way more popular than the humans for that) and promoted our summer programs. One of the things we were promoting was our huge annual tag sale that the church puts on as a fundraiser, and we were doing this by featuring a gorgeous canoe that was donated to the church so that it could be auctioned off at the event. It’s a beautiful boat, with two wicker-backed seats inside that face each other, and enough space for a little picnic basket. It basically requires one to wear a long, flowing white dress with a matching parasol. It also wasn’t very heavy, which would come in handy later, but I’ll get to that.

The family that owns everything we were using that day (the tent, the popcorn machine, and the signs) were also the keepers of the canoe. So they were there for the first half of the block party, but they had to leave in the middle of it to go to some awards thing for one of their kids because she is amazing and they love her or whatever. That was fine, though, because they were so sure that they would be back before the end of the block party to pick everything up.

So the block party was scheduled to end at 9:30, I think, but all the vendors were packing up at 8:30 because that was when an outdoor screening of the movie Casablanca would start in the park (yes, seriously, Gilmore Girls fans. It was so Stars Hollow that I’m actually disappointed there wasn’t a barbershop quartet there to sing about the lazy-hazy-crazy days of summer), and so we followed suit, us and our pastor tearing everything down and waiting for the family.

None of us had anywhere we needed to be, so it wasn’t really a big deal, but the dogs hadn’t eaten dinner yet, except for maybe the ice cream and popcorn they’d mooched off of several people, so The Mr decided he would take them home, feed them, start cooking dinner for us, and then I’d let him know when the family showed up so that he could come back and get me. I’d had plenty of free glasses of sangria at this point, so all plans sounded great to me.

So my pastor and I sat and chatted and waited.

And waited.

And waited some more.

At one point I looked over and saw a kid (old enough to drive, but probably not old enough to drink) trying to load a very large table into a very small car.

Me: Do you need help?

Him: Um… maybe? I had a ride coming to help me, but they got into an accident, I guess, so now they’re not coming and so I’m trying to figure out how I can get this stuff from here back to my church, but-

Me: Oh my god! Okay, better plan, I have a Jeep Wrangler. Where is this going?

Him: Right up the street to <insert location here>

Me: Cool, I drive by that place on my way home. I’ll take care of it. You go and make sure your friends are okay.

Him: Oh my god, thank you.

So now my pastor and I had a tent, a popcorn machine, a few signs, a very fancy canoe, and a very large table.

And no vehicle. Well, that’s not true. We had her Prius. But my point still stands: we had no vehicle.

At this point it was about 9:30 at night. The sun was officially down. The bugs were officially out. We had texted the family who owned all of the things (minus our new table), but the texts weren’t going through because I think they were in a school where the reception gets blocked. It was well after dark, and the only people left in town were all watching Casablanca in the park across the street, so I texted The Mr.

Me: They’re still not here.

Me: Please come.

Me: Also, we have acquired a table. Long story. I’ll explain when you get here.

Him: On my way!

He arrived and we started loading everything into the Jeep, but the table was actually too big even for our car, so we had to remove the windows from the back (yay Jeeps!) to get it all in there, but we did it, by golly!

Now all that was left was the moneymaker for the tag sale that we definitely couldn’t just leave sitting in the middle of town: the very fancy canoe.

The Mr: I mean… it’s not that heavy….

Me: …no… it’s not…

The Mr: And has wheels that hook onto it.

Me: …where are you going with this?

The Mr: Well, they live right around the corner. Why don’t we just… walk the canoe to their house?

So… after we assured our pastor that it was all fine and that she could go home, because at this point it was almost 10pm and she’d been there since 3, we attached the wheels and… started walking. The Mr with the canoe, and me with my camera.

D9B615D9-412F-4680-85C8-EF905EBDE88D.JPG

I’m honestly upset that I didn’t think to take a video of this because what made it truly great was that one of the wheels was super squeaky, so as we walked through the center of town, no one could really see us, because we were hidden behind the screen that was showing the incredibly romantic and beloved film Casablanca, but everyone could definitely hear the squeak, squeak, squeak, of us walking by.

I also considered sitting in the canoe one point during our journey, but the sangria was wearing off at that point and the look The Mr was giving me for even having the thought made me decide I better not. I only mildly regret this.

As we were squeaking our way around the bend, the mother of the family came whipping around the corner in her car to come and meet us at the tent. She saw us, stopped, laughed, and then turned around and drove along side us while she explained everything that had happened.

I won’t go into all the details, but needless to say, the story checks out and this family is more than forgiven for abandoning us with a canoe.

And a tent. And a popcorn machine. And some signs.

Actually, come to think of it, it was a nice night, and we were even stranded right next to the coffee shop, so we kind of had everything we needed to survive… The Gilmore Way.

P.S. If you’re interested in a very fancy canoe, here is a link to all the details about the tag sale. It’s very easy to transport.

P.P.S. We also did return that table, but I have no idea what happened with that guy. Send good vibes!


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Love from a Local at the Gilmore Girls Fan Fest

Holy cow, everybody, I just lived a dream. As some of you may recall, I live in the real Stars Hollow - as in the town that is the inspiration for the setting of Gilmore Girls.

As most of you probably know, this town played host to 1500 fans of the show for the Gilmore Girls Fan Festival and OH MY GOSH IT WAS AMAZING.

By now, you can google a bunch of articles detailing the entire weekend's agenda and noteworthy moments, but now that the weekend is over and our town has gone back to normal, I want to tell you what the biggest thing was for many of us locals:

Everyone was SO. FREAKING. NICE. The weather was cold and gross and rainy (very un-Stars Hollow), but every person was smiling and appreciative. Every customer I helped was happy to be there and kept thanking me and other locals for opening up our town to them. Everyone was there to have a good time and they didn't let crummy weather or long lines get in the way of that.

1,500 people. And all of them were lovely. Every. Single. One.

So I just want to say thank you to every attendee, every volunteer, every cast member, every crew member, every festival staff member. All of you. The town cannot stop talking about much we loved having you here, and many of us genuinely missed you all on Monday morning. You lit up our town and for one weekend, things here felt like they were on a new level of magic. So, thank you, thank you, thank you.

And now... back to reality.

 

via GIPHY

A festival based on the town that is based on my town is happening in my town.

It's no secret that I'm a Gilmore Girls fan. It's also not a huge secret that I live in the town that is the inspiration for the show's setting, Stars Hollow. And now, as I'm sure you've heard, there is going to be a freaking Gilmore Girls Fan Festival in my freaking town. Where I live. MY DREAMS ARE COMING TRUE.

So now my little town is going to have to deal with a lot more people like me. Poor, poor town... But there's going to be so much, coffee, a knit-a-thon, CAST MEMBERS, and - oh yeah: THEY'RE BUYING OUR TOWN A GAZEBO BECAUSE IT'S THE ONE THING WE DON'T ACTUALLY HAVE.

Guys. Seriously. I'm freaking out here.

FREAKING. OUT.

Goodbye Long Distance, Hello Neighbor

Don't worry. I didn't break up with Boyfriend and start dating my neighbor. That would be awful. Especially since my neighbor is an elderly woman with a herd of cows. No, my friends, Boyfriend is actually BECOMING MY NEIGHBOR. This is insane to me, but in an awesome way, because we've been doing this long distance thing since we started dating (which, admittedly, was only about 6 or 7 months ago), but apparently he thinks I'm cool enough to just RELOCATE HIS ENTIRE LIFE FOR.

WHAT IS THIS? IS THIS WHAT LOVE IS? 

So yes. Boyfriend is moving away from his cool, hip, trendy city life to Stars Hollow, CT, where there is no cell phone reception and almost everyone in town knows who you are. Seriously. Everyone knows. People I don't know are asking us about this situation.

And this crazy little town seems to be super excited for me over this whole scenario. People are coming into the bookshop and asking me all about it. There was literally applause from various town members when he picked up his keys. I think they've all been a little concerned that I wouldn't last very long here because of the lack of young folks and social life. Oh, they have such little faith in what the Internet can provide these days... But now they can all rejoice (or cry) because I have yet another reason to not leave town.

And Boyfriend genuinely wants to live here with me. This is nuts! But it's true. So, this weekend, he moves into his new apartment, which is right in the middle of town and across the street from the bookshop where I work. The only problem? Said apartment does not allow dogs (sorry Gio), but this also means that we'll be forced to still maintain some personal space. We won't be able to stay over at each other's places all the time and I'll still have to go home to do things. Like talk to the dog.

All of this rambling is basically my way of realizing that somebody really, really loves me. And that's crazy because, well... have we all met me? But I've got to say.... this feels quite incredible.

This is going to be good, you guys.

 

Because when I get murdered, it will be adorable.

So I went out to Providence, RI yesterday for a conference and on the 2.5 hour drive back something weird happened. So, I obviously texted people about it as soon as I got home. One of those people was a friend of mine who has decided to call himself "The Professor" on this blog. Me: I made it home. Almost got murdered, but I'm good.

The Professor: Oh gosh. You okay?

Me: Yeah. Someone was tailing me on the highway, and then they got off the highway when I did and kept tailing me, so I felt like they were maybe following me, right? And THEN I remembered this one movie I saw about some murderers who legit just picked a random car that they were driving behind and decided to follow that guy home and murder him. You know, for kicks. So I was all "This is it. This is how I die." But then I pulled into my driveway and they kept going.

The Professor: Yeah, that is spooky... Maybe they were just marking your house...for later.

Me: Oh gosh. They're so coming back...

The Professor: Yep. Make sure Gio is on alert.

Me: Ugh... so murder avoided... for now.

The Professor: Lol. I'm sure you're okay. Stars Hollow is essentially crimeless.

Me: You can't make assumptions like that, Professor. You've never even been here. Don't act like you know us. We caYou're kind of cute in that  -she's (1)n murder if we want to.

The Professor: Ok fine. You are going to get murdered. Get a baseball bat. Or pepper spray. Or a gun. I was raised by republicans, I can help you with that.

Me: No thanks. I've decided that if someone ever really breaks into my house to murder me, I'll just talk to them and accept my fate, whatever it may be.

The Professor: That's very kind of you.

Me: I'll be like "Dude, let me make you some coffee and let's just chat this out." ... Or Gio will kill them.

The Professor: That's kind of cute in a terrible "she's going to die being so friendly" sort of way.

Me: That's how I always thought I'd go...

Will I Be Jailed for This?

A conversation I had last night with a friend we'll call "Sara", who lives in San Francisco: Me: I'm lonely and hungry. This is terrible.

Sara: Oh nooooo. That's the worst. Go out to a bar!

Me: ...it's 11:30 on a Wednesday in Stars Hollow.

Sara: Well... not tonight then. Unless you want to get murdered.

Me: Not the ideal alternative... or the plausible one. Again: Stars Hollow.

Me: Peanut butter!

Sara: No Nutella?

Me: I don't do that shit. It scares me and I don't like the voices I hear in my head when I see it.

Sara: ...what?

Me: To be honest, I've never actually had it, but I feel like it's the Pumpkin Spiced Latte of spreads.

Sara: LMAO - yes.

Me: I'd need UGG boots and a sorority sweatshirt when I eat it and I own none of those things.

It Wasn't Daniel Day-Lewis, But It Could Have Been.

Hello Duckies!! Things have been a bit hectic this week as I continue to get settled in Stars Hollow. My life as a Gilmore Girl is off to a good start. I've found all the great coffee places and I've made many quick and under-appreciated jokes.

So, apparently this town is one of those places that random celebrities just show up to and walk around, go shopping, and eat lunch. I was told this upon my arrival, not because anyone was bragging, but because they all felt they needed to warn me. "You need to act like you have no idea who they are," They said. "They come here for some privacy." As if I would make some sort of a fool of myself or something. Me? Come on. I'm the freaking definition of tact.

Anyway, I kind of laughed and said "Oh, okay. Like I'm actually gonna run into some big time celebrity out here in the tiniest town in the world."

So yesterday, I'm standing behind the counter in the bookshop, stuffing event flyers and doing other various work-related things when my co-worker comes up to me and asks "Can you think of a book about Native American history for children?"

Me: Um... not off the top of my head.

Co-worker: Hm... okay, I'll just keep poking around.

And then I looked up and saw her walking away with this rather attractive gent (at least from behind), and I thought to myself "Huh.. that guy kind of looks like <insert major celebrity here> from behind... weird."

And then I heard him speak. "That's weird," I thought, "He kind of sounds like that guy, too..."

And then about five minutes later, I see someone out of the corner of my eye walk up to the counter and I look up and make eye contact with said person who was in fact A MAJOR FRACKING CELEBRITY. My eyes locked in on his for all of half a second that felt like forever and then I felt my eyes get HUGE before I immediately looked down and continued about my business,  hoping to seem like I didn't give a shit about who this person was, but all that was going on inside my head was some form of "OH MY GOSH, THAT IS <VERY FAMOUS CELEBRITY>. I AM BREATHING THE SAME AIR AS <VERY FAMOUS CELEBRITY>." over and over and over again. And then I realized that my hands were shaking. Noticeably.

Don't worry, he totally had no idea that I knew who he was. He especially didn't have any idea that when he left, I double checked his receipt and signature to make sure that I wasn't hallucinating. I wasn't. And then I spent the rest of the day texting my friends and bragging about the fact that I met this famous guy that we all love, and then I couldn't stop talking about it with my co-worker, who had no idea who he was, which was infuriating, especially when she was all "Oh yeah, that guy! That happens a lot. Did you know that Daniel Day-Lewis was in here a few weeks ago?"

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <--- MY REACTION.

The point is, I was totally respectful and quiet when this  guy was standing right in front of me for a solid 10 minutes. And then he left and I creepily stalked him and shouted about it to the world. Because I'm tactful and I value people's privacy, GOSH. Had he not been with his wife, I probably would have followed him to the nearest coffee place and tried to strike up a conversation about books, thus beginning our beautiful love story, but that bitch was all "Look, honey, the kids will love this!" and I was all "BACK OFF HE'S MINE!" ...in my head. Obviously.

So then I'm telling Lemon this story and we're chatting about this whole "celebs are among us" thing:

Me: I'm about to go to the real live version of Luke's Diner from Gilmore Girls.

Lemon: IF there is a man in a backwards hat and/or plaid shirt... You must get picture. And I will yeep. Greater points if he is in fact an employee. Lesser if he is but a patron. If he manages or owns? You win Life.

Me: If he manages or owns I'm pursuing the hell out of him. Unless he's old. That's weird.

Lemon: and SUPER bonus points if <VERY FAMOUS CELEBRITY> reappears while you are there.

Me: OH MY GOSH, YES.

Lemon: ... It's like I'm creating a board game out of your life...

Me: I'm okay with it. Alright, I'm gonna head out to this cafe. Hopefully they have wifi - although, if it's anything like Luke's, I doubt they will.

Lemon: *insert Luke rant about the internet here* Oh, and PS -- there are fewer points for Daniel Day-Lewis because, frankly, he could be *anybody*... He COULD BE the guy in the backwards hat and plaid shirt serving you coffee.

Me: Oh my gosh... that's so true.

Lemon: Daniel Day-Lewis could be anyone at anytime around you, Emelie. Never forget that.

 

Now I never will.

ddlewis

Do You Guys Think There Are Gardening Gangs? I Think There Are Gardening Gangs.

Happy Monday, Duckies!! So.... I have news.

I'm moving!! I'm leaving Suburbia, Ohio and heading off to "Stars Hollow" in Connecticut to fulfill my dream of becoming a Gilmore Girl! Now the only thing holding me back is that I didn't get pregnant when I was 16 and I'm not working in an inn, but still. One step closer.

But seriously.... I'm moving to the town that was the inspiration for Stars Hollow.... so that's pretty damn awesome.

Stars_Hollow_sign

 

So, I don't move until the end of October, but I'm already getting a little nostalgic... like... I wonder what the police blotters will be like in Stars Hollow. I hope they're as good as they are in Suburbia....

Shrubs Stolen

A Suburbia Lane resident said Sept. 22nd that someone removed several shrubs from their yard overnight.

I'm so thankful I'm leaving this crime-infested area, you guys. The stress and terror that Gio and I have been under from being constantly worried that there is someone around every corner just waiting with some hedge-clippers or shovels... to sabotage my yard!!!

Oh, the horror!