Seven things I'm thankful for (and NONE OF THEM ARE BRENDA)

I live in America and this Thursday we're celebrating Thanksgiving. While I'm definitely not a huge fan of the history of this holiday, I am a fan of food and the general idea that we should set aside some time to acknowledge the things we are grateful for. So, I decided to make a list. Because I'M RELEVANT.

    1. Books. Where would I be without books?! seriously. I read them. I make a living talking about them. I write them. If books were to suddenly stop existing, my life as I know it would literally be over. I love books so much that my house might as well be built out of them. I came home today and The Mr was all "Is that more books in your hands?" when he saw the armful I was carrying. I just smiled and didn't mention the fact that I had twice that in my backpack. (Shhh... he'll never know!) And what's not to love? They're nice to hold, they teach me things, they're basically time machines to other dimensions (TAKE THAT, SCIENCE) and they make great kindling when necessary! JUST KIDDING DON'T WORRY I WOULD NEVER BURN A BOOK, GOSH. (Okay, maybe we shouldn't be so extreme to go so far as to say never. I mean, if a man was holding my family hostage and told me that they were all going to die unless I set a book on fire, I'd probably do it. Unless he was just threatening my sister, Brenda*. She's the worst.)
    2. Comedy. Thank God for it, am I right? I feel like we could always use a laugh, but these days it feels way more than necessary. The world seems to be on fire everywhere we turn, but comedians are making me laugh in spite of and sometimes about it all.
    3. Macaroni and Cheese. Do I really need to explain myself here?
    4. Tacos. See #3.
    5. Dogs. Specifically mine. They are the best, even when they're vomiting in the middle of the night and shedding everywhere. I love them. They make me feel less like a weirdo because when I talk to them they look at me and say "Cool. HEY LOOK AT THIS BONE I FOUND IN MY TOY BASKET." Their support is unwavering.
    6. Grammarly. I write a lot and I often make mistakes - even when I know the proper use of "there," "their," and they're. For example, when writing #5, I definitely typed "they're support is unwavering" BECAUSE I AM A FLAWED HUMAN, but Grammarly was all "Hey girl, you did a dumb thing, but don't worry. I got you."
    7. You. Awwww. I know. So cute. But really, you are amazing. And I love you. The fact that you are just sitting around reading the weird stuff that comes out of my brain makes me love you. Many virtual hugs from me to you, dear reader, because every time I get a like or a comment from you I remember that I am not alone and that someone out there enjoys my thoughts and that is a really nice, warm, and fuzzy feeling. Like a peach. You are peachy. And thank you for being you :)

So what about you? What are you thankful for right now? Tell me in the comments below.

*Fun fact! I don't actually have a sister named Brenda. BECAUSE SHE IS DEAD TO ME.


Side note: Thank you all for your crazy awesome tips about how to shop more ethically and be a better person in the world on my last post! I AM FALLING SO FAR DOWN THIS RABBIT HOLE YOU HAVE NO IDEA.


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Everything could be terrible. I wouldn't know.

My family has a weird way of dealing with crises on various levels. Correction: My parents have a weird way of dealing with crises on various levels. My siblings seem to do just fine with this sort of stuff. Allow me to explain. Example #1: 

A text I received from my father at 4:30AM on Thanksgiving morning: IMG_2635

This was something that could not wait until the normal hours of the morning. No. I needed to be woken up from my deep pre-thanksgiving slumber for CHAIRS. This type of emergency is not something you fuck around with and wait to alert someone about. Chairs are very important. Middle-of-the-night important.

This brings me to Example #2:

A phone call I received from my father about a week after Thanksgiving around 8:30 in the evening:

A quick note, my father has a very thick and sort of angry sounding Swedish accent, so when you read his part, try and imagine that in your head. 

Me: Hello?

strange pause followed by loud crowd noises in the background

Me: Hello?

Dad: Hello?

Me: Dad?

Dad: Are you there? I can barely hear you!

Me: I think that might be because of wherever you are. Where are you?

Dad: I'm out!

Me: Oh, sure.

Dad: How are you?

Me: Fine... you?

Dad: I'm good. So listen, I'm calling because I need to talk to you about something, but before I tell you, you need to know that everything is fine and that you don't need to worry, so don't freak out, okay?

Me: That's a terrible way to keep someone calm.

Dad: Your mom is in the emergency room and she's been there for about four days, okay?

Me: WHAT?

Dad: EVERYTHING IS FINE.

Me: What happened?

Dad: Well, last week when we were still in New York, we were walking around and having a nice time and then Mom got really dizzy all of sudden and almost passed out... So then we came back to Ohio -

Me: -You traveled? 

Dad: Let me finish! We came back to Ohio and she still didn't feel good, so I took her to the hospital and it turns out she had some scar tissue in a vein and it was causing a blockage, blah blah blah, but everything is fine and she's okay, okay?

Me: Um... okay?

Dad: And we didn't tell you guys because we didn't want you to worry because everything is okay.

Me: Yes, but everything was not okay four days ago...

Dad: I know! That's why we didn't tell you until just now.

Me: But what if everything wasn't going to be okay? How long would you have waited to tell me? What if things were really bad and then you just kept waiting to tell me if or when everything was okay? This seems like a terrible system.

Dad: Emelie, EVERYTHING IS FINE.

Me: I know, but -

Dad: - Don't worry about it. There's something else I need to talk to you about.

Me: Oh God, what now? Is the dog okay? Are you okay?!?

Dad: There's a book that I want you to look into getting for me.

Me: ...oh, sure.

 

So everything really is okay. I talked to my mom, who found this entire story to be incredibly amusing, and apparently she just needs to take aspirin every day or something and that solves all her problems? I don't really know, but I've been assured that everything is okay and I am not to freak out, although now I know I can't trust my parents, which I told them over and over again after this whole debacle concluded. They think that's just adorable.

 

In other news, my giveaway ends in just four days, so you should get on that, because you deserve a free shirt.

 

Also, new Page Break episodes. Go check those out.

Welcome to My Family, Dragon - and Yes, This Will Scar You Forever.

So, as you all know, yesterday was Thanksgiving. I really hope everyone had a great day yesterday. I know that it's a cliche that Thanksgiving is a time to fight with your family and get drunk enough to tolerate your racist uncle, but for me, that has never been the case. Being from a foreign family, Thanksgiving has always been a kind of weird holiday.. We're American citizens stuck in Swedish bodies, but over the years we have found our stride with this event. We've made it our own and we've managed to make it a good time every year, because that's the Swedish way.

This year was actually a small Thanksgiving party, just my parents, Dragon, and myself. To be honest, I was a little worried that this would be the quietest dinner of all time. Dragon isn't all about the family functions and my dad does this thing where he basically ignores his children's significant others until they become engaged (his reasons are actually kind of sweet: he doesn't want to get attached and then have us break up.), so I was sure that this Thanksgiving would be a two man show, starring Emelie and her mother. This could only be amazing.

Many of you had the pleasure of meeting my mother a few posts ago. You can only imagine the two of us cooking together in a kitchen. Now add The Temptations Pandora station. Yeah. This is what Dragon walked into when he arrived for Thanksgiving dinner. He walked in, immediately greeted by loud music, and found my mother shouting at me to "grab the pricker and feel the potatoes!"

Dragon: Oh jeeze...

But he didn't run away, God bless that guy. Instead he stood there, gratefully accepted a cup of coffee and asked me if I had been drinking.

Me: Nope! Not yet!

Dragon: ...

My dad was occupying himself elsewhere, either finding some type of housework to do or watching the game, we're never really sure, so Dragon was stuck with us ladies for the time being.

That's when Stevie Wonder came on and all conversation stopped as my mother and I immediately began doing some type of strange dance in front of the stove while we continued to stir and mash things. I'm betting that this was not a pretty sight - I've realized that I should never expect to be a sexy dancer. If I try to be sexy I can only assume it's comparable to a goose or a giraffe attempting a strip tease.

Anyway, there my mom and I were, swinging our hips around to Stevie Wonder's funky beats while poor Dragon just stood and wished he could teleport to anywhere else in the world.

Enter my father, stage right. My dad took one look at my mother and I and then looked at Dragon:

Dad: Whiskey?

Dragon: Yes, please.

Dad: You got it.

And that is the Thanksgiving miracle of how my dad bonded with my boyfriend.

And dinner was actually great, we all talked and laughed and drank, and there really wasn't any uncomfortable silences, which is super impressive.

I hope you all had just as wonderful of a day as we did. I also want to take this opportunity to tell you, my readers, how thankful I am for you all. This blog has already been an amazing journey for me and it's still just a baby! I have made awesome friends from this that I hope will continue to grow and I found out things about myself that I only dreamed would start happening. You all rock and if it weren't for you I know I would not be having as much fun in my life. So thanks!! :)

Happy Thanksgiving Weekend, everybody! Please don't die in a Black Friday battle, and also make sure you support your indie shops this weekend! Today is Plaid Fridays for the independent shops and tomorrow is Small Business Saturday! Get out there and support the locals!