And they shall call me "#Sedawson!" Wait. No.

For my birthday The Mr took me to see David Sedaris. He was performing, we didn't pay him a visit or anything. It's not like The Mr was all "Pack a picnic, darling, we're off to visit with David!" and then drove me to some grand estate with groundskeepers and things.

 

via GIPHY

Why are David Sedaris, The Mr, and I suddenly in a Jane Austen novel? None of this seems right... Oh duh, that's because The Mr bought tickets to go see David Sedaris speak in Massachusetts. Now things make more sense.

Clearly, I do not hang out with David Sedaris (and I believe it's pretty obvious that that won't be changing anytime soon.), but I've been a big fan of his since college when Bestbian introduced me to his work. I thought he was funny then, but now my affection for him and his work has grown from being a fan to being inspired. His ability to write an essay is frustratingly brilliant.

 

via GIPHY

The personal essay is something that I've been working hard at lately, and in doing so, I've been turning to his work more and more.

There's just one problem with looking to my heroes for inspiration: They always seem to be more interesting than I am.

David Sedaris seems to witness a completely different world than I do. Jenny Lawson always ends up in these ridiculous situations and conversations. After reading their work, I find myself not feeling inspired, but instead feeling inadequate.

But then David Sedaris said something in response to a question at his reading that changed things for me. A couple people asked him questions about how he got into writing memoir or if he goes out and gets himself into situations for the sake of the story and he began talking about how none of this was ever part of the plan.

"If you read my work, you'll notice that nothing big ever really happens to me," he said. "I just have to figure out how to make something out of nothing most of the time."

He also said something along the lines of how going out and doing something just so that you can write about it immediately turns that story into a lie. He writes about things that happen to him and what he thinks about those things. Staging those situations immediately takes away the truth from the story.

I couldn't stop thinking about this. For weeks prior to this reading, I had been saying to The Mr that we need to go do more interesting things and get ourselves into more interesting situations - all for the sake of having material. Of course, now I realize that this notion is completely ridiculous. I can't put myself in situations like David Sedaris' and Jenny Lawson's and expect the great, fresh material to flow out of me. The world already has David Sedaris and Jenny Lawson. They don't need a Sedaris-Lawson impersonator. (#Sedawson?)

I'm me. It's my perspective and my ideas that should be going into my work. I just need to learn to make something out of nothing.

I simply need to learn to make something out of nothing.

And maybe when I'm feeling like I can't do it or that I have nothing good to say, I'll call my good friend David for a little pick-me-up. Oh... right. I'll just think about that time I sat in an audience of a thousand people and heard some good advice.


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Rules for Life: Sometimes I'm a Copy-Cat, but That's Okay.

So, if you're any sort of intelligent, you read The Bloggess, Stories About My Underpants, and Lauren Filing Jointly. The Bloggess recently posted a "Rules for Life" blog post, and then Lauren did the same thing... and then Stories About My Underpants followed suit...

I want to be a cool kid, too! And I'm pretty damn wise... right? I mean, my life advice is what you come here for. Okay, so maybe you're here for more of a "how NOT to live your life" kind of tutorial, and I can't blame you. Either way, here are my very own Rules for Life:

  • Don't be a dick. Just all around. Nobody enjoys that.
  • This one is actually John Hamm's, but she gave me permission to use it since it's become a staple in our lives: Don't come into my house and shit on my carpet. This is meant both literally and figuratively. Essentially, just don't enter someone's life and then start messing stuff up. It's rude.
  • There is literally a Beatles song for every occasion. Listen to them more often.
  • Hold doors open for people.
  • If someone holds the door for you, freaking acknowledge that and say Thank You.
  • Say Thank You.
  • Delay gratification more often.
  • Stop one-upping people. Nobody likes a one-upper.
  • Treat servers, bartenders, and customer service people with respect. They're there to serve you, but they're not your servant.
  • Don't sleep with someone just because you don't dislike them.
  • When given the option, LAUGH.
  • Also, know that it's okay to cry.
  • Just have emotions in general. Even the cylons have emotions.
  • When in doubt, watch Doctor Who.
  • Write someone a freaking letter. It's so exciting to receive that stuff in the mail.
  • Write a really nice letter to a complete stranger. Seriously, just pick a name out of the phone book and send it to them.
  • Write letters to artists who you appreciate. This includes authors, musicians, actors, directors, cameramen, costume designers... anyone. Just tell them you thought their stuff was cool. We bloggers forget that not every media has a "comment" box somewhere.
  • Stop just judging people with tattoos. Keep judging people with dumb tattoos, though. If we don't let the world know how stupid a Twilight tattoo is, then they'll just keep showing up.
  • Travel. For the love of God, please travel.
  • If you want to wear a poodle skirt, do it. I do.
  • Be you. Be wonderful. Be awesome.

What do you have to add? I'm sure there is so much more.

***

What should I read/review next? Go to the Book Reviews page and tell me! 

An Update On the Giant Chicken

Okay, so, my Duckies, it turns out that the giant chicken, whom I have lovingly named Jay-Z (it only makes sense since Jenny Lawson's Chicken is named Beyonce), is..... wait for it..... not for sale. :( giantchicken

The lady who owned the chicken at this thrift shop, however, did inform me that she acquired Jay-Z from a man about 5 hours away. And that she payed almost $400 for him... IF ONLY I HAD $400 DOLLARS!!!!

So then I got thinking... If I were to launch a kickstarter in order to acquire Jay-Z, would you donate? My thought is that he can live in my backyard and keep birds from flying into my window... not to mention, he can totally be supportive when I'm sad... or he'd be awesome to take Christmas photos with... I could even try to put him on wheels and have Gio pull us around town. The possibilities are endless, people.

Who's with me??

JENNY LAWSON, WE FOUND BEYONCE'S BROTHER!!!

This is what I woke up to yesterday: John Hamm: THIS COULD BE OUR LIFE:

 

giantchicken

 

Me: OH. MY. GOSH. Is that the same one Jenny Lawson has??? WE SHOULD BUY IT FOR GUMBY'S BIRTHDAY!

John Hamm: Haha yes! I couldn't find a price tag, though!

Me: COST MEANS NOTHING. WE MUST HAVE HIM!!! IT'S BEYONCE'S BROTHER!!!

All in favor of me acquiring this amazing creature? John Hamm needs more convincing, which I think is ridiculous.