This is legitimately a conversation that John Hamm, a few of the servers, and I had at the restaurant where we work: Co-worker: Did you know that ounce for ounce, cocaine is more expensive than gold?
Me: So is saffron.
Me: Yup. We Swedes use it in a lot of our Christmas baking, which is weird because it's a Spanish spice, isn't it?
John Hamm: Well, yeah, but the Vikings basically just raped and pillaged their way through the world, so that's most likely how that happened.
Me: Oh yeah... that is how we did things...
John Hamm: Yup. That's why there are so many of those red-headed Irish folk.
Me: You're welcome.
John Hamm: Aww, your ancestors raped my ancestors!
And then we hand-hugged. If you don't know what a hand-hug is, it's basically when you put your palm up to someone else's and then the two of you curl your thumb around each other's hands, as if they're hugging. Apollo taught us this one.
It's a thing. Google it.
Side-note: I would just like to note that John Hamm and I do not find rape adorable in any way, shape, or form.
Side-note to the side-note: I don't know what the different shapes of rape are, but I just want to be extra clear that I don't support any of them.