Who Actually Uses the "Send a Fax" Option, Anyway?

Okay, so I have this weird annoyance and I need to share it with you all. As many of you know, I work in a bookshop and then I also hostess at a local wine bar and restaurant. At both of these jobs I have to spend a decent amount of time calling customers to either let them know that the book we've ordered for them has arrived or to confirm their dinner reservation for the next day. Most of the time, this is fine. Until I get their voicemail.

It's not that I'm bad at leaving messages. I've become quite good at it, actually. What really has become the most annoying thing is the answering machine lady.

You all know who I'm talking about. Her speech goes a little something like this: "After the tone, record your voice message. When finished, hang up or press # for more options. To send a fax, press 5. To leave a call-back number, press 1 now."

I'm sorry, but when did people stop knowing how to leave a voicemail? Remember the days when it was "Hi! You've reached the Fiddledink residence! Leave a message after the beep! BEEEEEEP" 

I thought that worked fine. I pretty much understood what was expected of me. How many people were messing that up? I mean, I'm sure there were a few. Maybe. Actually, no, I'm pretty sure almost no one was confused about the concept of leaving a message. I cannot imagine that there were a slew of people confronted by that beep and their response was "Uh... wait, what? Hello? What's going on? AHHHHHHH!!!!"

Thank God there is a woman to explain it all now in a soothing, slow voice. What would we do without her?

Maybe I'm alone in this world. Maybe it's just because I have to listen to that inane voice over and over and over, every single day. But seriously, are any of you confused about this newfangled voicemail stuff? Am I just being an asshole?

On the other hand, I also kind of want to get to know her. I wonder who she is... Have you ever noticed that they're not all the same? I wonder if it's the same woman for all phone companies, or if there is a whole club of voicemail ladies. If so, how can one join this club? Would you recognize her voice if you heard her on the street? Is she married to the movie announcer guy? What does her voicemail sound like?

Okay, now I'm less annoyed and more curious. Now I want to find her and talk to her.

Are you the voicemail lady??