Dinner at Gumby's Means Weird Conversations. There's No Way Around It.

Yesterday was Gumby's birthday, so he cooked dinner for all of us (???) and it was delicious. The potatoes needed salt, but other than that, I was pleased. (You're welcome, Gumby, my love.) Here are some snippits of conversations had at the dinner table last night:

Person 1: When was 4th grade?

Person 2: Middle school.

Me: 4th grade was not in middle school.

Person 1: Yeah... 4th grade was 5th, 6th, and 7th.

Me: ...what?? No... 4th grade was 4th grade.... and Middle School was grades 6th-8th!

Person 1: I shouldn't have gone on past 3rd grade...

***

Gumby: Do you guys remember doing the dictionary challenge in school?

Me: None of us were in school with you.

Gumby: No, I'm pretty sure everyone had to do this! Like, there were teams and everyone would be given a word and you'd have to look it up.

Someone else: In a dictionary?

Another person: Did you have to use the index?

Gumby: I hate you guys.

***

Me (to Gumby's friend): Hi! I'm Emelie.

Gumby: No, her name is Ellen.

Me: No... It's not... It's Emelie.

Other friend: She's lying. Her name is Ellen.

Me: Um...

Other friend: Yeah, she just doesn't like the name "Ellen" so she tells people her name is "Emelie." She doesn't even spell it right, though...

Me whispering to myself: My name is Emelie...

Gumby's Friend: ...I officially have no idea what your name is. It's nice to meet you.

Me: Yeah... You too....

***

After Gumby received a book titled "How To Be an Optimist and Make It Pay" by  Nelson Doubleday

htbeanoptimist

Gumby: This is fantastic.

Friend: It's from series that I frequent. I once gave his book "How to Turn a Boner into a Bonanza!" to someone a few years ago.

Me: I'm sorry... What?

Friend: It's true! Back in the 1950's the word "boner" just meant "mistake."

Me: ...That's... appropriate...

***

Do any of you guys have conversations as strange as these?